Empathetic people are the most beautiful, and oftentimes the most misdirected and abused. Sadly, having a soft heart can get us locked into traumatic love connections where the gift of our empathy works against us. Empathy is something we feel for another person as we try and place ourselves in their shoes. When we are giving this to a manipulator, we are finding empathy and understanding in places that we shouldn’t. We do this because we want to believe people are honest, good, and authentic, so we project these qualities onto our abusers as a way to stay in the relationship and to avoid our own feelings and fears of abandonment. We cannot stand behind ourselves with zero empathy and give it out to those who do not deserve it and make our way into a happy life or relationship. Step back for a minute and ask yourself why are you not being empathetic towards yourself, towards the pain you feel at the hands of the toxic people/person in your life, and giving yourself the sage advice to do better for yourself? We must ask ourselves why it is so foreign to us to take the loving advice we would offer to others in the same position? If we could practice being more empathetic towards ourselves, we would certainly develop a more honest relationship with ourselves, which would lead us more naturally into making healthier decisions when choosing relationships with others because we would never want anyone to hurt in the ways we are hurting.