Many alienated children keep playing their imposed role – victim/punisher – to try to justify the ‘choice’ they made as being right, instead of facing and accepting the reality of their weaponisation. The alienating parent put those boxing gloves on their child. But instead of feeling shame and guilt, it’s almost easier for the child to keep on punching. All the while they’re hurting themselves. I know this is a horrible idea and visual but it’s to make this point. The alienating parent projects and punches too. The child learns to behave the same, they think they’re protecting their aligned parent. It’s much easier to keep attacking the target parent than to see what part they’ve played – and how much they’ve been played! So long as they deny it, and project all anger/blame on the target parent, this remains unresolved trauma. It can create stunted psychological development, and the child can remain stuck in, and trigger back to, the age they were hurt. We need to remember this when our alienated child (even as a ‘grown up’) expresses their wounds, and continues to project all their unhealed trauma, all their shame, guilt and anger on us, the alienated parent. They are righteously angry, confused, hurt. And unfortunately they will stay stuck so long as they don’t accept they were complicit/used, and abused by ONE parent, not both. The target parent, as much a victim as them, is that missing part of their lives – it is the ‘split’ part of the personality. The lost part. It was a terrible choice, rejecting one parent over another, it was a painful, survival mechanism. The alienating, mentally unhealthy parent did this to them. And without healing the relationship with the rejected parent, the alienated child, cannot heal those parts of themselves caught up in the trauma, that denied part of themselves, vital to their healing and sovereignty.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#ParentalAlienationAwareness
#parentalalienation
#FamilyCourt
#childcustody
#FathersMatter
#mothersmatter
#custodybattle

