Attachment Disorder in Parental Alienation

Children with Secure Attachments feel supported and protected, possessing self-respect and trust in their close relationships, fostering positive interactions with others and academic success. However, when subjected to parental alienation by a narcissistic/borderline parent with disorganised attachment tendencies, the child experiences emotional manipulation and psychological abuse. This engenders anxiety-driven attachment behaviour triggered by the “target” parent’s presence or mention, leading the child to respond in ways pleasing to the alienating parent and resulting in the absence of secure attachments.⁠

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Parental alienation disrupts the attachment cycle, eroding the child’s trust in themselves, the world, and others, ultimately fostering an insecure or disorganised attachment style. Insecure, anxious children become hypervigilant around parents, hoping for loving moments while guarding against potential hurt.⁠ Lacking empathy, alienating parents may not recognise their child’s anxiety unless mirroring their own. The perceived threat lies in the child’s relationship with the ex-spouse and their proximity. The alienating parent conditions the child to soothe their anxiety, inducing symptoms when mentioning the targeted parent, reinforcing that their attention comes when rejecting the other parent, detrimentally affecting the attachment relationship.⁠

Alienating parents amplify the child’s stress, grief, and confusion while projecting blame on the targeted parent, damaging attachment bonds and leading to detachment. However, this adaptive behaviour can turn maladaptive if habitual or extreme.⁠

Insecure, avoidant children may learn that emotional closeness is unsafe, fostering extreme independence. Children manipulated into denigrating a parent often experience guilt, internalising blame. Alienating parents suppress the child’s grief by attributing negative emotions to the targeted parent, inducing blame and distancing for self-preservation. Many children conditioned to believe the alienating parent due to survival instincts, are unsure who to trust – themselves or their parent.

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Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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