Charlie McCready / Can’t unsee the truth – Parental Alienation

When you can’t unsee the truth, we wonder why others are so blind to it. But we can’t underestimate the coercive control and psychological abuse that’s been inflicted. A child’s perception of the alienating parent as cool, fun and protective is also really painful – and annoying – when our experience of them is quite different. ⁠

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Children naturally gravitate towards their parents’ positive traits. The child’s innate yearning for love and care from both parents can lead them, after alienation has done its worst, to idealise the alienating parent. Unfortunately, the child’s cognitive development might not allow them to fully grasp the manipulative and psychologically abusive tactics hidden behind this facade. Plus, as I said recently, the abuser doesn’t abuse every day. ⁠

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The deliberate alienation, emotional distance, ceaseless criticism, and limited and disrupted contact between the child and the ‘target’ parent can magnify the contrast between the parents. Additionally, the alienating parent strategically assumes the role of a strong and protective figure, exploiting the child’s natural need for security. By fostering this dependency, the child becomes resistant to questioning the authenticity of their perception.⁠

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The child’s unwavering belief in the alienating parent’s favourable attributes clouds their judgment, causing them to overlook or dismiss any signs of the alienator’s abusive conduct. Consequently, the child’s loyalty becomes deeply ingrained, obliging them to shield the alienating parent, even if it entails distancing themselves from the other parent.⁠

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It’s important to remember that change is possible. Over time the child can become disentangled from the manipulations, start to question things or see behaviours that jolt them out of the ‘blindness’. They have the potential to ‘wake up’ to the truth. and then they may be in the position as you, not being able to ‘unsee’ what’s been happening. ⁠

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Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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