Authentic Closeness vs Co- Dependence

The difference between CO-DEPENDENCE and AUTHENTIC CLOSENESS

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Codependency: I need you to feel good, otherwise I don’t feel good.

Authentic closeness: I allow you to experience what you experience without feeling the need to change or fix it. You are your own master.

Codependency: I need you to support me, and if you don’t, I will make you feel guilty in a more overt or more subtle way.

Authentic closeness: When I need support, I ask others for it, not just my partner, and I don’t get angry if they can’t give it to me the way I need it.

Codependency: If you don’t do what I want, I will make you feel guilty and ashamed.

Authentic Intimacy: I accept you as you are, while having clear standards about how a person can treat and talk to me.

Codependency: You have to know what I need. It’s not the same at all, if I have to explain it to you.

Authentic Intimacy: I communicate openly and will never blame you for my own lack of courage to tell you what I want and need.

Codependency: True love means being faithful no matter what.

Authentic Intimacy: I have my own personal boundaries and standards for how a person can treat and talk to me, and I will clearly share them with you with love.

Codependency: You have a lot of problems and I will help you overcome them. Only in this way can I feel that I am valuable, worthwhile and needed.

Authentic closeness: I am already valuable and valuable. I’m not here to be my partner’s therapist, help him get better, or be his nanny.

Codependency: I need you and you need me.

Authentic closeness: I choose to be with you every day and you choose to be with me.

Codependency: I can’t do without you.

Authentic intimacy: I like spending time alone.

And I love being with you. ❤️

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Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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