The difference between CO-DEPENDENCE and AUTHENTIC CLOSENESS
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Codependency: I need you to feel good, otherwise I don’t feel good.
Authentic closeness: I allow you to experience what you experience without feeling the need to change or fix it. You are your own master.
Codependency: I need you to support me, and if you don’t, I will make you feel guilty in a more overt or more subtle way.
Authentic closeness: When I need support, I ask others for it, not just my partner, and I don’t get angry if they can’t give it to me the way I need it.
Codependency: If you don’t do what I want, I will make you feel guilty and ashamed.
Authentic Intimacy: I accept you as you are, while having clear standards about how a person can treat and talk to me.
Codependency: You have to know what I need. It’s not the same at all, if I have to explain it to you.
Authentic Intimacy: I communicate openly and will never blame you for my own lack of courage to tell you what I want and need.
Codependency: True love means being faithful no matter what.
Authentic Intimacy: I have my own personal boundaries and standards for how a person can treat and talk to me, and I will clearly share them with you with love.
Codependency: You have a lot of problems and I will help you overcome them. Only in this way can I feel that I am valuable, worthwhile and needed.
Authentic closeness: I am already valuable and valuable. I’m not here to be my partner’s therapist, help him get better, or be his nanny.
Codependency: I need you and you need me.
Authentic closeness: I choose to be with you every day and you choose to be with me.
Codependency: I can’t do without you.
Authentic intimacy: I like spending time alone.
And I love being with you. ❤️

