Trauma Bonds , Sabotage, Coercive, Control – Alienating Parent – Charlie McCready

The loyalty/trauma bonds are created because the alienating parent consistently portrays the other parent in a negative light, using derogatory language, making false accusations, and highlighting perceived flaws or mistakes. This constant denigration aims to sabotage the connection between the targeted parent and child. It is abuse.

The alienating parent often isolates the child from the targeted parent, their extended family and support system. They may restrict access to communication or visitation, limit opportunities for bonding, and discourage or prohibit positive interactions with the targeted parent. They emotionally manipulate the child by leveraging their emotions, guilt, and fear. Not only this but they also instil a sense of obligation and loyalty by making the child believe that supporting or loving the targeted parent would hurt or betray them. It’s childish, and utterly selfish behaviour, but the child doesn’t know this.

The child is ‘parentified’, but the alienating parent also fosters an unhealthy dependency, so the child feels reliant on them for emotional support, validation, and approval. This dependency reinforces the loyalty bond and makes it difficult for the child to express positive feelings towards the rejected parent especially when the alienating parent creates a false narrative where the targeted parent is consistently portrayed as the cause of all the family problems and the source of the child’s distress.

Over time, these tactics can create a strong trauma/loyalty bond between the child and the alienating parent. The child may internalise the alienating parent’s views, blame the targeted parent for the family’s dysfunction, and believe that aligning with the alienating parent is the only way to maintain their love and approval.

Not all children will respond in the same way, even in the same family with the same family dynamics. However, the creation of loyalty bonds and the shifting of blame onto the targeted parent are common patterns observed in alienation cases.

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Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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