It’s such a ‘handle with care’ situation and often counterintuitive. But some alienated children aren’t ready to be ‘love bombed’, and sometimes the most innocent and casual contact can be twisted out of shape into ‘harassment’. This is shocking because we almost don’t recognise the child they’ve become, and the rejection is painful. We also know this is not their authentic selves. The dynamics between the alienated child and the rejected parent become incredibly complex and sensitive. Every case is unique, and individual circumstances may vary, but although we want to put things right, tell our truths, and we want to reunite and be happy with them in our lives again, we have to be so patient, and approach with empathy and caution. Some children respond to contact, or the idea of reunification, with anger. There’s a ton of guilt there. There are loyalty bonds with the ‘aligned’ parent, the lies they’ve swallowed whole, and the deeply ingrained beliefs and narratives that have been instilled in them.
It’s important to recognise that expressing love and a desire to reconnect with the child can also plant a seed of hope and may eventually have a positive impact. Over time, consistent and genuine efforts to maintain a loving connection can help the child start to question their cognitive dissonance with the alienating narratives and make their own judgments based on their experiences and observations.
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