Becoming persona non grata is a shock to any parent who once enjoyed a close, happy, loving relationship with their child who now doesn’t want to see them or believes all sorts of lies and nonsense put in their minds by an alienating ex. Separation or divorce is an adult issue that the children are best not involved with, yet the alienating parent uses the situation to drive a wedge between the other parent and the children. It is not in the child’s best interest that their loved/loving parent becomes no more than a visitor or, worse, a stranger. I personally dislike the term ‘visitation rights,’ sometimes used. They say ‘absence makes the heart grow stronger’, but this is not the case when the alienating parents use the enforced, manipulated absence to make the divide worse and wider. But while it feels as if alienating behaviours are forever and unbridgeable, it is often the case that, upon reuniting, the past can be left where it belongs in the past. Like with an old friend, upon meeting after many years, we often find it’s as if no time has gone, and we just take up where we left off. The alienating parent doesn’t remain ‘persona non grata’ in many cases. The child’s natural instinct is to want both parents in their life. They did not ask to be alienated. It was a survival tactic on their part. What’s difficult for the alienated parent is not knowing how long the distance and time will be before their child feels free enough to be able to reconnect, and in the meantime, finding happiness and fulfilment in life. Stay strong, and don’t give up hope, my friends.
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