Grief

Grief can shake us to our core, unraveling the familiar into unfamiliar territory. Its acute pain can convince us joy has perished too, that happiness will never return. I woke up one morning to find I wasn’t fully living anymore, and that my body was locked into a permanent state of clenching, not unlike the way your body prepares for a shot, or a hard blow. I realized I wasn’t even close to any state of happiness, and that somehow I had come to believe that at any moment, it could all be taken away. Being afraid of opening again to life’s beauty, lest it be taken away again so cruelly. Poet Rumi captured this sentiment: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

In my own seasons of grieving, I wanted to cling to sorrow, to honor all I had lost by resisting solace. Yet light slipped through anyway – hearing music that stirred my spirit, going back to writers and artists whose work gave me joy. Letting go and embracing laughter’s healing. A colleague advised, “Let your heart break open, not closed.” Heartbreak can reveal our wholeness, if we allow it.

Grief works on the soul over time, changing the shape of our capacity to hold joy again. One of my favorite quotes from Leonard Cohen nails this:

“Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in.”

We need not rush the journey, simply breathe through the cracks making space for light. On the other side, we are larger, more compassionate, braver. “Akhilanda”, is the literal representation of this: a woman’s body is filled with cracks, incredible light spilling out. Her name means “Never not broken” – she embodies the truth that we are always changing, transforming, perfectly imperfect. And yes, there is joy again.

May we surrender to each wave of grief, trusting we will return again to happiness, cultivated from the fertile soil of loss. Poet Pablo Neruda said “You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.” Our spirits will bloom brightly once more. Have faith and courage.

The light finds a way.

“Akhilanda”

Mixed Media

2017

Prints:

8X10 Matted and Signed Gallery Print: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1131525005/akhilanda-8×10-signed-and-matted-gallery

4X6 Matted Mini Altar Art: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1231271505/akhilanda-4×6-matted-altar-art-print

Unknown's avatar

Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

Leave a comment