Loss of expectations via toxic family dynamics

Sherrie Campbell Ph D

Highly dysfunctional family systems condition you never to ask for anything. Anything you ask for is treated as a burden to their effort, time, emotions and finances. Asking for anything turns into conflict. Your needs are treated as a sacrifice they don’t want to make

These types of family members douse you with shame and guilt for having needs. You are left feeling confused, abandoned, and immensely frustrated. It makes no sense for your family to refuse to meet your most basic needs, accusing and shaming you as claims “selfish” and “ungrateful.”

You learn to shrink your need-base to avoid this this type of shaming emotional abuse. You strive to do all you can to provide for yourself, to which, you will also be guilted, or even held back, from doing that.

Why? Because, ironically, these types of family members need you to need them. If they can keep you needy, you are less likely to get out from under their control. You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

If you can’t win either way, you may as well choose what’s best for your mental health.

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Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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