Yes, projection was a huge part of his need for me ..someone to dump all his lower energy and opinion of himself.
Mirroring his characteristics , I also sought help and psychiatry termed me bipolar , discounting the Xanax prescribed for IBS addicting me unknowingly , I alone was responsible , he’s had a free pass for decades .
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) includes core behaviours such as capriciousness, lack of empathy for others, excessive self-admiration, a need for validation from others, grandiosity, fantasies about success, beauty or love, entitlement, superiority, exploitative behaviours, arrogance and self-centeredness. A person with NPD will compare and judge, they’re sensitive to criticism, highly reactive and resistant to perceived slights. It’s estimated that about 0.5 – max 6% of adults have NPD and more men than women. We’re all a little bit narcissistic in some ways – we can be proud of our achievements, and of a new coat we bought, but for the vast majority of us it’s not a personality disorder. It only became recognised as an illness in the century, but narcissism is a concept going back thousands of years. It goes back to ancient Greek mythology. Narcissus, a proud and handsome man, on seeing his reflection in the water for the first time, fell in love with his image and couldn’t stop staring at it until the day he died.
It was only in 1980 that NPD was officially recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM). Parental alienation isn’t yet recognised, and there’s the argument over its existence even though those of us who’ve suffered it know it’s real. But it involves narcissism and one parent insisting and coercing their child into believing they are the one and only parent who is good and loving. Narcissistic people get really upset if they’re not in total control and with everything going their way. They’re terrible at collaboration, mediation or meeting halfway. Co-parenting is almost impossible for them. They’re right, everyone else is wrong.
A child growing up with a narcissistic alienating parent is probably not getting their needs met because the attention is on the victim/victor parent and their needs. The child becomes a reflection of the parent, serving the parent, and becomes pathologically enmeshed because the parent exerts ‘power over’ and coercive control. It can lead the child into depression, anger, substance abuse, and relationship difficulties. It is child abuse. But they can and do break out of this. It doesn’t have to be a life sentence. The narcissistic parent won’t change, but the child can. They figure out their parent isn’t well. They may remain protective of that parent, or they may become angry with them, but at last, they will find out it wasn’t their fault, it wasn’t a normal childhood or parent/child relationship, it was toxic, disordered and disturbed like the narcissistic alienating parent, and the ‘target’ alienated parent wasn’t what they were led to believe either. And when they figure this out, especially with a bit of distance, they can get psychologically-X5xrxpxUu9QskLdU-hukgeLv2823tdYXkL-goe93J1LwTKz_sV1LRRdsj9rkd0HBFcJxQY3IGRW-QUegRcI0KTxlk&__tn__=-UK-R)
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