I made plenty of mistakes , medications played havoc with me on all levels .
I used to go through pictures , and as the family photographer, there were tons , and it broke my heart each time.
I kept hearing so much blame and hurt , that I divided up photos and gave each child a portion.
I still had photos , which have been stored for 14 months .
I have pictures and memories a plenty and no interest in healthier relationships , preferring to stay in the energy of negativity , which does not fit me and my personal effort of healing
When I was at rock bottom, I put away all photographs of my children that I had scattered around my house. It was incredibly hard, and sad, but almost a ritualistic thing, I felt I had to stop holding onto the past. Not only this but they were by then teenagers, and the photographs were from when they were much younger, happier days before alienation put a dreadful, painful, heartbreaking barrier between us. I didn’t realise it at the time because I hadn’t yet embarked upon a healing journey that would lead to me running my programme to help others, but this marked a new start, a clean slate, and the end of my longing for the past, and being stuck in grief. I packed up those photographs in a box which I put in my attic. Gone but not forgotten> Not a part of present life. A part of my life, but presently apart from each other. It was accepting and facing up to reality. My children returned of their own volition. They returned to a parent who wasn’t angry or stuck in the past, but instead living a happy, fulfilling life. I realised later, they would have been relieved not to have a parent making them feel guilty, ashamed, or sad. We could all move on. I know there’s a huge temptation to address the wrongs of the past, but we can’t change it. There might be an opportunity, but I always say it is a ‘handle with care’ situation. If you have the chance to have a new start with your alienated child/ren, don’t let the past overshadow it. Believe me, I made my mistakes, which I cover in my programme, easy-to-avoid mistakes. I do what I can now to help others fast-track to better relationships.
In the book, The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman which was turned into a film starring Alicia Vikanda and Michael Fassbender, a couple on an isolated island, unable to have children, are blessed with the miracle ‘gift from God’ delivery of baby washed up in a boat with a dead man. The wife implores her husband not to report this as he would like to as is his job as a lighthouse keeper. Against his better judgement, they keep the baby. ‘We’re not doing anything wrong,’ she says. What’s interesting with regard to parental alienation is that the film throws some light on the immorality of keeping a child away from a loving, living parent. The main character feels it is her right to keep the child after all she’s suffered, even when she discovers the mother is grieving her lost child (and husband). There’s a happy ending in this film with the stolen child returned to her rightful mother, albeit this mother is from a rich family and has the means to press charges. If she was impoverished it would be a different story. This is what is so dreadfully wrong with alienation. A parent shouldn’t have to pay (a small fortune) to have access to their child which is then often not honoured by the alienating parent anyway. “You only have to forgive once. To resent, you have to do it all day, every day,” says the birth mother in her decision to forgive the couple, even though her child hardly knew her with all the difficulties that would entail.
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GreatCosmicMothersUnite 