Often, we want to see the best in others and incorrectly assume all of us possess similar values.
These assumptions are further enforced by authors and creators who insist that abusive people, such as narcissists, are more like us than not.
Out of curiosity, I told AI to tell me about narcissists. Here’s what it had to say:
“Just because someone is a narcissist doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings too. Showing patience and understanding can help create a more positive experience for both parties.”
What this means is that there is so much material online about narcissists “having feelings, too” that even AI is misinformed…not to mention, all the millions of lives that have been ruined by offering patience and understanding far beyond reasonable limits.
My point is, they may have feelings, but they are very far removed from most people’s. Meaning, their feelings are so dark and intense, most of us cannot begin to imagine what their inner workings are like.
Don’t ask, “Why do they do that?”
We don’t ask why lions eat small, furry animals. We don’t ask why alligators eat someone’s pet. We simply accept this (even if we don’t like it) because we KNOW these animals are predators.
Once you start seeing narcissists as the serial predators that they are, then things stop being so confusing.
We must get out of the naïve, inner child mindset that wants to believe everyone has some good in them, because not everyone does.
When you keep asking, “Why do they do that?” it means you haven’t accepted them for who they’re showing you they are. Jekyll and Hyde behaviors are Dark Triad behaviors…not someone who’s hurt or feeling shame and acting out.
…and they’ve been showing you exactly who they are for so long now. The only thing left to do is accept it and make your plans accordingly.
If you’d like to begin defeating the narcissist in the face of their trickery, don’t forget to grab your Free 14-Day Email Course About Narcissism based on current and accurate research.