One of the most reliable indicators of a friendship’s longevity is something I call “Imperfection Tolerance.” That is, the friendships that are the most likely to last have an expansive and compassionate tolerance for each other’s imperfections. Instead of turning away from one another because they are imperfect, they turn toward one another. Instead of shunning each other, they accept each other — warts and all.
Quite often, friendships fall apart because there is an inequality in their “Imperfection Tolerance.” I have seen this time and time again. One person has no tolerance for their friend’s imperfect patterns, while simultaneously expecting all of theirs to be fully embraced. A sense of inequality sets in, as one friend feels entitled to complete acceptance, while never letting their friend off the hook. Better to identify these patterns early — it will save you lots of time, and disappointment. Equality of compassion is the root of most long lasting friendships.
~ Jeff Brown