Traditionally, issues related to separated parents and their children have been framed in the context of child custody battles, focusing on which parent gets legal or physical custody of the child. The more critical concern is the protection of the child’s well-being, which is why alienating behaviours must be better understood and come under more scrutiny. What is often called ‘parental alienation’ is, in essence, child psychological abuse, which happens when one parent systematically undermines the child’s relationship with the other parent. Ideally, children should have both parents (and their entire family) in their lives, which is most beneficial to them. It shouldn’t be necessary for legal intervention. When both parents are mentally healthy and share a genuine concern for their children’s well-being, they should be capable of collaboratively devising a custody arrangement that is equitable for everyone involved. Any deviation from this collaborative approach may signal mental health concerns in one of the parents. This is when outside help is needed – risk assessments by people who understand and recognise coercive control, emotional manipulation, triangulation, and insecure attachment disorders. They also need to be able to differentiate between genuine and false allegations. There should be consequences if one parent is caught making false allegations and it is seen that this parent is unwilling and determined not to co-parent, even though this is best for the child. It is a mental health issue, first and foremost, which can be supported by the law rather than a family court issue with support from mental health professionals. Parental alienation is a social crisis because it can lead to mental health issues for both children and parents and thereby impacts the overall well-being of families and society at large.
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