Do Not Wish For Others To Suffer

Recently, a woman came to me after her boyfriend left her with no warning. He just ghosted, stopped answering her calls, cut off all contact. It was a terrible thing to do. The woman admitted that she knew this man was no good for her, but what made it hard to let go of the relationship, she said, was the thought that he was “getting away” with mistreating her.

So I asked her: Do you really think people get away with anything? Think, for a moment, about the psychology of someone who ghosts. In running from difficult conversations, he must see himself as a person not worthy enough for others to stick around and fight for. In treating people as disposable, he must see himself as disposable too. Not only will that kind of person suffer greatly in the future, he’s already in great pain right now. There’s no question of his getting away with anything.

The real question is: Do you want to tie your karma up with the karma of people who hurt you? Because when we wish for others to suffer, we bind our destinies to theirs and inherit a portion of their pain. It starts by giving them free real estate in our minds, which makes it much harder to move on. But over time, it’s actually worse that that. Vindictiveness dims our view of relationships, till we end up actually choosing the toxic ones, because we don’t believe we’re worthy of anything more.

So remember: The best revenge is no revenge at all. The best way to get over people who have hurt you is to picture them becoming better people and finding true happiness, which never comes from hurting others.

This is why the Bible says, “Do not rejoice when your enemy stumbles.” It’s not about making excuses for bad behavior, or even forgiving anyone. It means, simply: Do not wish that you become like your enemy. Do not wish to hurt yourself as he does. Love yourself, so deeply and completely, that you would never again wish harm upon another

~ Paul Weinfield Coaching:

[Art: Gank Pansuay]

Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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