Because our toxic family members will never take accountability for their actions, we must understand that their refusal to learn from their misdeeds equates to a refusal to change. In their mind everyone is wrong but them, they do not need to change, they are right, everyone else is a manipulator but them, and they are always the victim.
If you step back, you will see that this mindset is such a self-serving joke. You cannot reason with a person who has such a childish mindset, who throws unnecessary threats and dramatics around to intimidate and manipulate. If you step back what you will see is a grown adult throwing stones and fighting to get their way like a child.
The teaching to take is to not waste your time trying to get them to grow up. They do not want to do this type of growth. If they had wanted growth, they would have already stepped on that path by adulthood. Hold no hope in these types of people. Best to accept them for exactly who and how they are.