Childhood emotional development lays the foundation for: adult relationships, our own self worth, plus the overall belief of what “love” looks like.
Reparenting ourselves (learning how to set boundaries + how to meet our own needs) is something most of us didn’t learn in childhood.
Because I didn’t learn these skills, I found myself in relationships plus situations where I was always fawning (people pleasing), ignoring my needs, plus playing the role of caretaker in my relationships.
This is not true emotional connection which is why these relationships always feel so lonely + unfulfilling.
If you’re just starting to reparent yourself, the VERY first step is getting to know yourself. Spending time with just you. Learning your own preferences, finding your interests, honoring what brings you joy.
In chaotic or dysfunctional homes, children are taught to people please. To put others before themselves. To default to other people. In this environment, there is a lack of sense of self. “Self” only comes through what other people think of us or how other people make us feel.
Get to know YOU. Learn your own inner voice. Sit with the difficult emotions that come when we stop people pleasing for love
The Holistic Psychologist