Dating your shadow

..Dating Your Shadow 
While we often use the word “partner,” this doesn’t require to you identify the person in question as the love of your life.   
….. This is because—from one crazy, cosmic, perspective—you are only and always and forever and indissolubly in relationship with your soulmate.   
If you’re single and dating, or merely rifling through Tinder on occasion, or scoping out people on the street—consider the fact that every single person you encounter, and especially in the context of dating, is revealing some aspect of your soulmate—precisely because they are revealing some aspect of you.  Especially if you consider them to be “definitely wrong for me in some way,” or massively triggering.  In fact, the more you get down with the people you consider bad, wrong, shameful, and totally dysfunctional to like, the more rapid this process tends to be.   
Basically, you can think of this process as “dating your shadow,” or “dating your own unconscious,” or “getting to know all the parts of yourself and your soulmate that your ego would rather not be.” 
The more deeply, powerfully, and effectively you learn to love all the “wrong” people, the sooner your “right” person is likely to reveal themselves —often hiding in plain sight, in our experience at least.   
And when they do, you will be super glad you practiced loving all the wrong people, because this insanely fabulous magical person of your dreams is, inevitably, going to appear as someone totally wrong and unlovable and your worst nightmare, on occasion—that is, the love of your life will also be a perfect match for your shadow.   
Thus, the more you’ve practiced radically, joyfully, ecstatically loving all the wrong people, in whatever way you choose, the better equipped you’ll be to transform those nightmare moments instantaneously into bliss.  Really. .
Carolyn Elliot and Carolyn Burns (both PhDs)

Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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