I know there’s people who say that a child is okay without mom-love or dad-love, but I just don’t agree with that.
They offer up all these explanations for why they think the child will do better without the love of their mom or dad, but their reasons just don’t make sense to me.
From where I sit, and from what I know, children flourish when they receive the love of their mother and love from their father. No mom-love or no dad-love reaching the child, that’s never a good thing. I just don’t see how people can say that’s a good thing, that makes no sense.
When a child receives a mother’s love, that’s a good thing. When a child receives a father’s love, that’s a good thing. How can no mom-love or no dad-love be a good thing? That’s ridiculous.
Yet, there are people who say that. I come across them all the time. A whole lot of them are mental health people. In their reports they’ll say, “It would be a good thing if the child doesn’t see mom/dad again.” What? That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. Good for the child to have no mom-love or no dad-love? That’s preposterous drivel. But they say it.
I just can’t understand it. How can anyone say it’s a good thing for a child to have no mom-love or no dad-love. Makes no sense to me.
My most recent response to the people who say that nonsense is to say, “You know that’s ridiculous don’t you.” They don’t. They just look at me with this blank look.
They really do believe that a child receiving no mom-love or no dad-love is a good thing. Makes me wonder what kind of relationship they had with their mom and dad. My guess is, not very good. I think they must have some sort of dead love networks or something.
I don’t agree with the people who say that a child receiving no mom-love and no dad-love is a good thing. I think it’s always good to give love to children, the more love the better. That’s what I think.
You know, some of the people who say that no mom-love and no dad-love is a good thing, they also seem very caught up in the “voice of the child” – it seems important to them that we listen to the “voice of the child.”
Okay. So, here’s my question to the child… Do you want more love or less love?
I’ll bet they say more. Five bucks. So, go ahead, ask the child, “Do you want more love or less love?” I win. You owe me five bucks.
Do you really think any normal child is going to answer, “I want less love. No, no, no, I don’t want to be loved.” Really? You think any normal kid is going to say that?
Or are they going to say, bring me love baby, woo hoo. Are they going to laugh and giggle. Don’t tell me a kid doesn’t wanna be loved. That’s ridiculous.
So, there we have it… the voice of the child. The child wants more love. So then why are these people saying it would be a good thing to give the child no mom-love or no dad-love? That’s not healthy.
Kids and love, like chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk, Sunday dinner turkey and mashed potatoes at grandma’s house, birthday parties with silly hats and funny faces. How can it be better for a child to have no mom-love and no dad-love?
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857