The following post by Craig Childress Psy.D.,, speaks to a pathology
ignored as Domestic Abuse /Child Abuse erases family’s by targeting
1 parent in all manner of lies ..often the child , adult is perceived
as NPD , when it’s long held trauma , unnoticed , unhealed , grieving
each day, triggered …as we witness the Domestic Abuse and erasure of
Immigrant families , disappearance of children, failure to be able
to reconnect ..We many targeted parents live with the same dynamics
and the same failures within systems that are supposed to know better.
Childress has it down, as to why this has been allowed through social
norms that have no normalcy , but are very lucrative and powerful
from the top down.. adapting to DSM conjecture of the human beings
mental state …ignoring facts as in my case …upheld as an authority
that has no failings , nor responsibility .,
Gig is up ; it has been along time coming .. Gladly laying this burden
Narcissistic psychopathology lies. It lies a lot. It lies all the time. For the narcissistic personality, “Truth and reality are what I assert them to be.”
Mental health professionals who work with narcissistic personality pathology – which includes all mental health professionals working with high-conflict families – should recognize that the narcissistic personality lies. They lie a lot. They lie all the time.
In the world of normal, there is an agreed upon truth and reality. But this is not true when we enter the world of narcissistic psychopathology. The world of the narcissist is a world of their own construction.
In the world of normal, there can be multiple perceptions about events that we can bring together into an agreed upon narrative for what truth and reality are. Not so, when we enter the world of narcissistic psychopathology. The narcissistic pathology has no grounding in actual truth or realty.
Narcissistic psychopathology creates its own alternate universe of truth and reality that bears little resemblance to actual truth and reality. There is not a compromise between different views, because one view is delusional.
And there is no point in arguing with a delusion, or presenting rational facts, truth, and reality to the delusional belief. A delusion – by definition – is a fixed and false belief that is impervious to change based on facts, truth, and reality. If we could change a delusion by presenting it with truth and reality, it wouldn’t be delusional.
There is no point arguing with a delusion. Narcissistic pathology enters the world of delusional.
Theodore Millon is one of the grand kahunas of personalities disorders. He is the author of the gold standard of personality disorder assessment – the MCMI. Here is what Millon says about the narcissistic personality’s hold on reality:
From Millon: “Under conditions of unrelieved adversity and failure, narcissists may decompensate into paranoid disorders. Owing to their excessive use of fantasy mechanisms, they are disposed to misinterpret events and to construct delusional beliefs.”
The narcissistic personality does not always live in the same world of shared truth and reality as the rest of us non-pathology people do. They live in enough of our shared reality so as not to be obviously pathological, but they are pathological.
Aaron Beck is the grand high kahuna of professional psychology. Beck is almost single-handedly responsible for developing an entire scientifically grounded school of psychotherapy, Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. He is also an expert in personality disorder pathology. Here is what Aaron Beck says about the belief systems of the narcissistic personality:
From Beck: “Another conditional assumption of power is the belief of exemption from normal rules and laws, even the laws of science and nature.” (Beck et al., 2004, p. 251-252)
“…even the laws of science and nature.” Yep. For the narcissistic personality, “Truth and reality are whatever I assert them to be.”
All mental health professionals working with attachment-related family pathology surrounding divorce must have a professional level of knowledge regarding narcissistic and borderline personality pathology. This is not optional knowledge. It is knowledge required for professional competence in assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of pathology.
The narcissistic personality lies. It lies a lot. It lies all the time. And it’s delusional.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857