This month holds a lot of old energy, not worthy of repeating or hanging on to , and writing about it relieves me of holding it in my “ notes “; of my brain .
I used to have a niece , by marriage who was born on the 14 th.
I loved her very much , but my mental illness time out, and divorce broke that tie.
She married and had 2 sons, divorced after almost 20 years and has remarried her soul mate from childhood .
She had a beautiful brother who earned his pilots license before age 21. And sadly died in a single engine plane crash in 1998. Her wedding that December was surreal , for me … I cannot say I was surprised by the news of her divorce .
October was of course very special at our house , for years due to Halloween .
October of 1999, I believe was the month , the ex loaded me up , using our 3 sons and a borrowed tractor trailer , giving me everything he did not want. Our divorce states that we worked out division of property between us; not true .. He had already given his new supply my tanning bed which was a gift , and some outdoor furniture . I have the feeling that she went through our house picking out what she wanted .
My paperwork I believe stated October was the month, however I had no memory of moving , due to trauma , and prescription medications that keep me dull and more vulnerable to trauma . These papers are in storage at this time.
October 2019, on the 9 th , I received an early morning phone call from 1 member of the group of young men who I rented from. My original landlord was a family of 4 who were in the process of change , and mention was made that the sons would take over the landlord duties, not that the building was being sold .
The new owner had a record , unknown to me and had a bad attitude .
I signed a lease in April , paid my deposit , and waited as the tenet took his time moving to another unit. He created a deficit for the landlord , who told me this later .. This tenant moved to another unit and moved within months , and so I was asked as I signed a new lease with the young men if I would move to the unit vacated by the tenet who found a house. This was August .. Of course I said no , due to the disadvantages to me, even though they had remodeled the unit and mine had not even been deep cleaned .
So October 9 th 2019, this call comes early , and I asked if we could talk later.. I had been up all night searing for a client , who was in a shit storm.. He declined my need , and informed me I had to submit to his threatening chatter , including that I would be allowed to stay until Spring 2020.
I had tried to reach the owner, as usual leaving a message which he shared with the caller. I had learned of toxins in the unit, and noticed that symptoms I had developed were related to this poisoning. Owner shared with his associate who called me with abusive threats .
I believe he had me agree to something he said he recorded or signed a form on line , in great duress.
I had a hard time after sleeping, and the next day was worse , and I realized I had been assaulted with out touch and my body responded as if I’d been raped .
I was notified by an undated notice taped to my door. Covid evictions began to be discussed and I was finally evicted July 28 th, 2020. The court took over my checking with out my knowledge ( the laws state this should not happen: a living wage must be allowed)
On the day of eviction , 4 or more deputies showed up , like I was a convict , and I gave most of my furnishings away , I had only temporary housing until November of that year .
My next landlord was mentally ill, which was Dementia , and not knowing her before , I didn’t catch her mental illness. The house and landlord had been recommended from a dear friend who was not fully aware of just how off center landlord was. I moved from that nightmare situation in Late July 2021 and into the devil narcissist partner who betrayed me in “ our “ LLC ..
So from August 2021 until May 1 2022, I lived in property he said he owned , but I came to find out everything he said and stood for was a lie .
Since May 2022 I have lived at a motel , which has been very expensive and Claire’s my lack of trust in landlords , and my ongoing desire to own my own home met with the housing crisis.. There is progress that I cannot discuss yet .
Reading a post on the newest “ Hate Crime “ against women described the domestic violence of my experience as a renter . As a single woman homeowner , I experienced thievery amongst workers in my home..
So this October, the great reset takes place , and I’m so very grateful to moving through the challenges, knowing I’ve healed my past and I’m not willing nor able to walk it backwards in any way, shape or form.
More than a few folks feed off my energy , and I’m completely over it and focused on my basic creature comforts , including a peace filled home base . Of course I’m very excited . And feeling very Blessed , and ready for a future of balanced living..
October is about casting , which I’m just really becoming aware of even exist , and the boomerang of any energy directed at me , that returns the shadow energy to sender ..
So I’m in the mindset of miracles and magic of October , as my new cycle begins with that of Mother Earth , and so happy to be here .
Yes there will be losses and challenges but I feel Divine’s hand on my back, and very special friend who walks beside me 🎁❤️🙏🏼
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 