The Dismissive-Avoidant label is generally another way of romanticizing toxic relationship dynamics. It encourages oppressed and abused people to hang in there because, hey – there is a way to cope with this! There’s a way to make it work!
It’s all just more delusional nonsense, much like Church elders who advise their followers to stay in abusive marriages.
This kind of so-called therapeutic advice is harmful and is one of the reasons why narcissism, as a whole, continues to get worse instead of better.
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I was in a relationship with someone who was dismissive-avoidant for almost five years. He was just as resistant to any sort of compromise as any other emotionally abusive person. Sure, he was long on lip service, but short on making any real change.
I saw a post on another account today touting the ways to cope with a “dismissive-avoidant”, with baloney tips that folks have already desperately tried, all to no avail.
A dismissive-avoidant person is an abuser in that they are unable to feel empathy for those around them and are often dismissive of them. This can take the form of ignoring the feelings and needs of others, not engaging with them emotionally, being emotionally distant, and not responding to attempts at communication.
Dismissive-avoidant people are emotionally manipulative, as they use avoidance and denial to control the emotions of those around them. They may also resort to gaslighting, lying, and denial to maintain their power over their victims. This can cause a great deal of emotional pain, confusion, and distress.
Just as with any relationship where a person is emotionally abusive and dismissive of your feelings, the “dismissive-avoidant” may want you around for fringe benefits, but they don’t care about you as a person.
Anyone who tells you otherwise is either delusional, in their own relationship with a so-called dismissive-avoidant, or a manipulator themselves, keeping these false solutions alive, and therefore keeping people in toxic relationships and causing harm.
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Always thinking of you,
Kim
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 