We can be creative when trying to justify someone’s toxic and dysfunctional behaviors.
One example of this is believing that a narcissistic person is simply dismissive-avoidant. But, emotional abuse and manipulation are not behaviors of someone who is “dismissive-avoidant”.
This is called selective interpretation. Selective interpretation refers to the tendency of individuals to interpret information or events in a way that aligns with their pre-existing beliefs, values, or preferences. It is a cognitive bias where people are more likely to pay attention to, remember, and interpret information in a manner that supports their existing views while disregarding or downplaying information that contradicts them.
I’ve seen a plethora of mental health conditions ascribed to narcissistic abusers. Most of which are selective interpretation and denial.
Emotional abuse and manipulation are not deactivating strategies. They are abusive behaviors and traits. It’s time to accept the cold, hard truth because when your life is crumbling down around your ankles, truth and acceptance are the only things that will come through for you, whereas selective interpretation and denial will only continue to take you down an eddy of despair.

