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In many cases, the mental illness and personality disorder of the parental alienator has been hidden for years, and undiagnosed. They are usually the last people to accept they need help. But a traumatic episode, like a divorce, can trigger these latent, imbalances in their mental pathology. You may have seen signs before, but when triggered these behaviours will be undeniable to you, the target/scapegoat, while still hidden from others. It’s kept ‘in-house’. It can be inter-generational too. Parental alienation is a family pathology where-by children are triangulated into a narcissistic (and abusive) parental relationship. Between the narcissistic parental alienator and their child/ren develops a covert coalition. In most families there might be cooperation, instead there is competition. Where two parents might stand united, they are pulling in different directions. To be clear, the parental alienator is only thinking of themselves. Narcissists don’t consider the needs of others, they will be very unlikely to find fault in themselves, or do therapy of any kind. They think of themselves as deserving blind loyalty, they believe themselves the superior parent. There’s no negotiating or reasoning with them. The innocent, target parent is wrong in their opinion, and that’s that. You can’t change the alienator, you can only change yourself. You may or may not be able to repair the relationship with your children. Be strong. Make the end goal to establish a happy,healthy life.
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