When a parent shames and yells at their child, they are inflicting a deep and typically lifelong emotional wound – one which is accidental, inherited, and typically inflicted without malice.
Here’s how it happens
Every parent loves their child. Partly, this is because a child is a kind of “extension of the self” for the parent — the child literally starts as a mini-version of his parents — and he is loved and protected absolutely.
When a child misbehaves or needs to be disciplined, a parent will use language and methods to pull him back, but these methods will be closely related to the ones that they learned to speak from their own parents — and which are still echoing within them via their inner mental voice.
And if a parent has inherited a harshly self-negative inner voice, then when push comes to shove, this is the voice that will come blurting out towards the child, and usually behind closed doors. Because when a parent is stressed or anxious toward their child — this literal extension of their own “self” — their verbal force will come out in the same language that they use when they are berating themselves internally.
In other words, when you hear a parent yelling at their child in a deeply harsh manner, you are getting an accidental peek into how that parent actually talks to himself internally — you are literally hearing the harsh attacks they use on themselves internally — and you only hear it out loud, because this “child extension” of their self that they are yelling at… happens to be in a separate physical body.
This also implies that a parent’s harsh negativity is not applied out of malice, but from a kind of unwitting fairness. The child is is being given the exact same treatment that the parent gives himself internally. And when a parent’s inner treatment is harshly self-negative, this self-punishment is simply passed on from parent to child, like any other language or physical trait.
This is what you are hearing when you hear a parent yell, and this is why it is inherited. It is not the parent’s fault – it is no one’s fault – it is simply an artifact of inheritance for any given family.
How to Fix it
Fortunately, this wounding of one’s own children can be prevented and fixed, using a series of protective measures to protect your child from the emotional pain of this unwittingly inherited wound.
Here is the link to the First Protective Measure, which you can use to self-assess and quickly fix this problem for your own child — it is an extremely effective and easy technique, and is explained in a 9-minute audio briefing so you can listen from anywhere.
You will be able do it immediately with your child, even as soon as you finish the briefing.
I guarantee that by the end of this short session, you will have a powerful, yet straightforward technique to protect and immunize your child from this lifelong source of emotional pain and wounding.
Warmly,
Artie
founder, preside meditation
http://presidelife.com/the-first-protective-measure-audio-111/
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