Discrimination
Ability to distinguish between stimuli or objects that are different from one another. 2. Ability to respond in different ways. http://psychologydictionary.org/learning/http://psychologydictionary.org/training/ 3. Treating people from different cultures differently. Psychology Dictionary:
Parental alienation syndrome
Parental alienation syndrome (abbreviated as PAS) is a term coined by Richard A. Gardner in the early 1980s to refer to what he describes as a disorder in which a child, on an ongoing basis, belittles and insults one parent without justification, due to a combination of factors, including indoctrination by the other parent (almost exclusively as part of a child custody dispute) and the child’s own attempts to denigrate the target parent.
Jimmy Carter on Women and Discrimination
This discrimination, unjustifiably attributed to a Higher Authority, has provided a reason or excuse for the deprivation of women’s equal rights across the world for centuries.
At its most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment and influence within their own communities.
The same discriminatory thinking lies behind the continuing gender gap in pay and why there are still so few women in office in the West. The root of this prejudice lies deep in our histories, but its impact is felt every day. It is not women and girls alone who suffer. It damages all of us.
Carter states how the subjugation of women was not always a part of Christianity.
“The carefully selected verses found in the Holy Scriptures to justify the superiority of men owe more to time and place – and the determination of male leaders to hold onto their influence – than eternal truths
I am also familiar with vivid descriptions in the same Scriptures in which women are revered as pre-eminent leaders. During the years of the early Christian church women served as deacons, priests, bishops, apostles, teachers and prophets. It wasn’t until the fourth century that dominant Christian leaders, all men, twisted and distorted Holy Scriptures to perpetuate their ascendant positions within the religious hierarchy.”
Many truths in the following :
The campaign of denigration is an example of the construction of family myths which are
used for the purpose of turning a child against a previously loved and loving parent.
The child is programmed to believe that her/his other parent is: worthless, selfish,
unloving, malevolent, undeserving, and dangerous, etc. The effective result is that the
children become convinced they will be happier, healthier, and better adjusted if their
targeted parent is eradicated from their lives.
Examples of the denigrating behavior are listed below and are not inclusive:
1) Sabotaging and interfering with visits or not permitting visits at all.
2) Depriving the targeted parent of important information about the child, including but
not limited to medical, educational, and social activities.
3) Not informing and excluding the targeted parent from the child’s activities, parent/
teacher conferences, birthdays, religious events, graduations, etc.
4) Programming the child against the targeted parent by belittling, criticizing, and
deprecating the targeted parent in the child’s presence.
5) Removing the targeted pictures of the targeted parent from the child’s awareness.
6) Interference with and not being supportive of contact between the targeted parent and
the child. This contact includes the telephone, text messaging, e-mailing, skype, or other
methods.
7) Making unilateral decisions in major areas regarding the child.
8) Verbally and physically abusing the targeted parent by the child and/or alienating
parent.
9) Defying the targeted parent’s supervision and authority.
10) Rejection of the targeted parent’s gifts, cards, vacations, and other offers of help
REFLEXIVE SUPPORT of the ALIENATING PARENT
The symptom called “reflexive support the alienating parent” is descriptive of the
process by which PAS children uncritically and dogmatically align with their alienating
parent, particularly when disagreements and hostilities arise between the parents. family
systems therapists labeled this coalition the “perverse triangle” whereby the child is
manipulated by one parent into forming a coalition to the disengagement of the other
parent. This interactional pattern acquired such a label because it is a dysfunctional
behavioral pattern: when a parent and child to collude (either consciously or
unconsciously) to deprecate and reject the other parent, the child often develops severe
emotional disturbances. The requirement of the coalition is a destructive demand for the
child to choose between parents: it creates a double bind in that the child must either
sever a relationship with the targeted parent or else incur the wrath and probable rejection
of the alienating parent for refusal to do so. In the face of parental disputes, PAS children
express unequivocal support for and allegiance to the feelings, opinions, and behaviors of
their alienating parent and absolute disregard for those of their alienated parent. They
assert that their alienating parent possesses a veracity above reproach in every dispute
while the alienated parent is always guilty of mendacity. Indeed, the enmeshment with
the alienator is so powerful, that these children will interpret their alienated parent’s
struggle to defend against the alienating parent’s humiliating behaviors and malicious
accusations to be an attack upon them.
PAS children, for example, uncritically align with the alienating parent even after that
parent’s allegations of domestic violence are dismissed, and even when having failed to
witness a single such incident. Whether it be issues such as child support, financial
disputes, infidelity accusations, fallacious child abuse allegations, or any matter arising in
the divorce proceedings, the PAS child will align with the alienating parent.
LACK OF AMBIVALENCE
PAS children can be predicted to recite a long list of deficits about their targeted parent
while minimizing or refuting any positive attribute or redeeming quality of that parent.
PAS children are curiously stricken with “amnesia” when it comes to acknowledging and
appreciating their targeted parent’s lifetime involvement with them. Targeted parents
receive no recognition for the time, energy, and emotional and financial support which
they had invested and continue to invest in their children. Instead, everything targeted
parents utter, accomplish, propose, and offer to their children is viewed with disdain and
negativity. The inventory of characteristics is just the reverse for the alienating parent,
who is idealized, appears to possess a halo, is perceived as capable of walking on water,
and reveals no character flaws whatsoever. PAS children have relinquished any interest
in engaging in an objective assessment of each of their parents. On the one hand, they
consider their targeted parent to be unadulterated evil. On the other hand, they
demonstrate an unshakable reverence for their alienating parent, even when an objective
observer would evaluate the alienator to possess insufferable, problematical, and even
reprehensible attributes. These children think only in terms of black and white when it
comes to their two parents.
WEAK, FRIVOLOUS, and ABSURD RATIONALIZATIONS for the DEPRECATION
This symptom no better reflects the distortion of family events or “the enshrining of
revisionist history” by the alienating parent and the PAS child about the targeted parent in
order to portray that parent in the worst possible light. PAS children remain armed with a
laundry list of vague injustices, deceptions, and disappointments which were allegedly
inflicted upon them by their targeted parent. These children exploit the opportunity to
reiterate their complaints ad nauseam when they respond with their inventory of
grievances to nearly every question asked of them about their relationship with their
targeted parent. When they are requested, however, to provide specific incidences or
explicit examples which support their accusations, they are unable to document credible,
significant, or factual examples. To the contrary, these children utter nothing more
explicit than vague comments such as “she/he lies;” “she/he is embarrassing,” “she/he is
annoying,” etc. Sometimes these children will say, “She/he is abusive,” but they will be
unable to cite specific incidences to support the claims. These children, nevertheless,
have the potential to create havoc for their targeted parent when they fabricate fantastic,
ludicrous, and exaggerated accusations to justify their deprecation, such as child abuse
allegations. What these children can specifically articulate is the nastiness of their
alienating parent as well as that parent’s corroboration of their misperceptions of the
targeted parent. The PAS thus catapults to life because of the repetitive exploitation of
deceit, untruths, and hyperbole.
If the children and alienating parent are vague about alleged injustices committed by the
targeted parent, they are very specific about allegations of child abuse and domestic
violence. But these allegations are either entirely manufactured for utterly distorted and
exaggerated.
THE INDEPENDENT-THINKER PHENOMENON
PAS children proclaim uninfluenced ownership of their “horrific” opinions of and
feelings for their targeted parent. Moreover, they accept sole responsibility for their
abusive, disrespectful and rejecting behaviors towards that parent, adamantly affirming
that their alienating parent does not encourage them in the slightest. Imagine, a child
accepting absolute culpability for their reprehensible deeds! And they will spontaneously
volunteer authorship of these ideas, frequently volunteering that their alienating parent
has not influenced their feelings and behaviors one iota.
CRUELTY towards the ALIENATED PARENT with no remorse or guilt
PAS children typically exhibit toward their targeted parent a cruelty so wounding that the
serpent’s bite pales in comparison. Pouring salt in their parent’s wounds, these children
reveal no remorse or guilt for having caused such pain.
SPREAD of ANIMOSITY to EXTENDED FAMILY of the ALIENATED PARENT
That is, the vilification and rejection of the targeted parent usually will extend to her/his
entire family of origin. These relatives, such as grandparents, who had had a previously
loving relationship with the child, will now be inexplicably rejected. The PAS child
utters no remorse regarding such rejection and expresses no feelings of loss for the
termination of these relationships. When these relatives attempt contact with the child,
their efforts go unanswered, and all requests for visits are refused.
The above excerpts are taken from the book, The Parental Alienation: A Family
Therapy and Collaborative Systems Approach to Amelioration, by Linda J. Gottlieb
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 