Custody exchange in parking lot ends with father dead, mom’s boyfriend charged with murder

I suspect there is much more to the story …

The children, a boy and a girl, witnessed the shooting but neither were injured, officers say.
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For Domestic Violence Survivors, Family Court Becomes Site of Continued Abuse

This too is changing , as awareness becomes reality ,

compassionate folks who stand beside children in

courts , insuring no trauma, or advantage is targeted

against a child in continuation of a parent who

is indisposed , disadvantaged , out monied , ie

discriminated against in every way . A very grievous,

vulgar and unnecessary , socially accepted human

rights violation.. And it’s motion of transformation

is upon us as leaders domestically abuse us , shadow

is exposed and thankfully a million stars align

to open a healing as never imagined ..Heaven

on Hearth begins with Peace in Ones ♥️

Family courts often lean toward joint custody, a preference that some abusers use to continue harassing former partners.
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Donald Trump Says Men WhoTake Care of Their Kids Are Acting ‘Like the Wife’ | Fortune

Discovery of this adaptation with the father of my child , was

further enhanced by an attitude of ownership . If I were graded t

it would have been incomplete in every way . His nurture was

seldom and utilized to remedy a situation , he was not able

to navigate emotionally. In our 1st year , I was subjected to

devastating abuses that I had to review in triggered C- PTSD

which was not known to me at the time…it was a hell

come to earth.

In denial of anything but surface , friendship that often insulted

even that , and the unexpected rages never afforded me security.

That became personified in his partner , and the committee of

3 enjoyed the insults that occurred when I was allowed to

participate in son’s life experiences .. I was not allowed knowledge

of much including a near death crisis as our youngest attended

college out of state .. Of course he feels I failed as a Mom

an addict via psychiatry by choice to get out of being his mom.

Lacking emotion , adhering to the male model of affluence,

belonging to the right clubs , knowing the right person to call

a ” brother” who will aide and never tell. His nickname in

his home ” brother” , cannot connect emotionally , a feminine

reaction abused out of him? Or modeled by a society that has

allowed his life lessons to be ” evaporated ” if disagreeable to

uphold his perception of importance in his world.

I represent his failures , his secrets , his failings , and his imbalance

of masculine and feminine energy . Disrespect , and Abuse is

from inside out , and very repressive and depressive .. he

withheld to the point of reducing himself to a void , and my

surrogacy as he embraced breakneck change and success in

his career , our home became ever more a place to drop in,

participate as much as he could , much in the social aspect

giving the look of normal family …Doors were never shut against

him , he busted them through ..he had ever increasing

meetings or out of towns , speaking his truths , ie confessing

by 3rd person stories , always another guy , which began 3

months into our marriage . His employees also were his cover

for sexual pursuits that I painfully discovered never conveyed

love, intimacy or attachment .

As a very sick, physically ill , misdiagnosed mental patient

his detachment was utterly soul snatching , as I painfully

watched the erosion of our ” family” knowing his search

for love would never end .. Draining those who failed him

he has chosen to continue his efforts to hold me responsible

for my abuse and the loss of all the connectedness with our

sons, his brother/friends , ever ” his ” …

Trump talks about his views on fatherhood in a series of past interviews
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Silver dental fillings are 50% mercury ; Danger to Women & Children

Two new studies associating dental amalgam fillings with pregnancy risks confirm action is urgently needed to protect babies from the known risks of mercury, according to the International Academy of Oral Medicine and Toxicology (IAOMT). A growing number of countries have taken measures to prevent the placement of dental amalgam “silver” fillings in women and children because it contains approximately 50% mercury. However, dental amalgam is still used widely in the United States with no restrictions for these or other susceptible populations.

Splitting Psychologically: lacking empathy or freezing fear in triggered C-PTSD .

A common trait of alienated children is Psychological Splitting.

Psychological Splitting is the inability to hold opposing thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. Some might say that a person who splits sees the world in terms of black or white, all or nothing. It’s a distorted way of thinking in which the positive or negative attributes of a person or event are neither weighed nor cohesive.

“Relatively underdeveloped personalities, most especially borderline personalities, have a hard time incorporating into consciousness seemingly contradictory aspects of the same person or thing. So, they unconsciously separate or “split” objects into two categories, seeing the “good” side of a person or thing as the part they find acceptable and the “bad” side of the person or thing as the part they find painful or unacceptable. And, it’s much more than just seeing both a good and a bad side to everything. They actually “split” a single entity into two opposing realities, conceptualizing for example a mother who has both a gentle and a terrifying side as alternately “good mommy,” or “bad mommy.” As a result, they will often alternate between over-idealizing and devaluing the same person. Underdeveloped and poorly integrated personalities not only separate difficult to integrate external “objects” or persons this way, but they also “split” into disparate parts aspects of themselves that are hard to integrate into a cohesive whole.” – Dr George Simon, Phd. Due to this many alienated children suffer from identity disturbance. They also see their alienated parent as “all bad” and their alienating parent as “all good”. Whereas a “normal range” person can recognize their own and others negative and positive qualities as a cohesive whole.

Understanding this all or nothing, black and white distorted thinking can help a parent react accordingly to their child’s attacks. Once you understand that they are using a defense mechanism, where they cannot hold good and bad qualities in a person at once, the attacks become depersonalized. And once you can depersonalize from the things they say, you can stop reacting.

So how do I help my child?

Stay calm, do not react to this polarized way of thinking. It is delusional and reacting to it only solidifies it in their mind. See it for what it is, a defense mechanism. Show up in empathy and teach critical thinking skills.

PAS equals Sex Abuse in Side Affects , Ignored far too long

Sharon Stack

“If you see something, say something” should not only apply to physical threats.

If you know an adult child who has estranged from good, loving, non-abusive parents and especially if they are using their children as pawns and weapons keeping them from grandparents whom the children loved and had a bond with, and you say nothing to them, then you are complicit in their abuse of their parents and their children.

By saying nothing to them, you are condoning their behavior.

Several decades ago society was still blaming the victims of domestic abuse and rape.

Today’s silent epidemic is adult children estranging from non-abusive, good, caring parents by the millions all around the world. They use words like “toxic”, “narcissistic”, “mentally unstable”, “negative”, etc to diagnose their parents and excuse their own inexcusable behavior. They presume to be able to make diagnosis that only professionals have the right to make. When asked for examples of their parents behavior that is so terrible they either lie or side-step the question with vague references to things that made them feel bad.

The trend of “going no-contact” is just a catch phrase for giving someone the silent treatment. The silent treatment is a power play which basically says, “you’re not important enough to me for me to resolve any conflict or work at this relationship.”

Psychology Today has reiterated in numerous articles that “going no-contact” with a family member or spouse is only appropriate as a last resort when there is either severe abuse or all efforts to resolve any conflicts have been exhausted.

Yet of the millions of estranged adult children, it is rare to hear of any having asked their parent to work with a therapist or family counselor to improve the relationship.

The greatest tragedy is not even the millions of grieving parents who after having devoted their lives to raising their children now face old age alone. No, the real tragedy is the children of these estranged adult children who not only must grieve in silence for the severed relationships with grandparents they loved, but who are learning by their parents example that parents are disposable.

These grandchildren are not learning conflict resolution. They are not learning how to value people and use things. Instead the opposite is being demonstrated, to use people and value things.

So if you think it’s none of your business to say something, the reality is that this epidemic is so widespread and rapidly growing that it will affect society globally. That means that sooner or later it will impact your life directly. Of the over 20,000 members in FB support groups for estranged parents, the majority never ever thought it could happen to them with a child they loved and sacrificed for and with whom they had believed they were close to. So do not think for a moment that it can’t happen to you or affect your life.

There are over 40 support groups on Facebook alone for parents suffering from their adult children’s estrangement, with over 20,000 members. This is just Facebook. There are also websites which organize in-person support group meetings, there are yahoo groups, msn groups, church groups, and many more affected parents who still suffer alone thinking they are the only ones going through this.

Are you afraid if you say something that you will lose a friend? Consider the value of a relationship in which speaking the truth in love would cause the person to reject you. Yes, you might lose this friend. After all if they cut their loving parents out of their lives they probably would do the same to you if you disagree with them. But I ask you, if you think they are a friend worth keeping, then why not give them the benefit of the doubt that they can still hear your opinion and concerns without trashing your friendship?

So how do you broach the subject? How about,

“You know I care about you…and I am concerned that you may regret being estranged from your parents. Maybe if you tried talking to them or if you all met with a family counselor you might be able to reconcile. At least think about it.”

In our FB group Parents Grieving For Living Children we have added over 800 members within the past year. This is despite our only approving about 1 out of every 5-7 requests. The epidemic is not slowing, it’s not leveling off, it’s snowballing. Keeping silent about seeing someone you know inflicting this pain on their parents and often upon their own children is no different than keeping silent about bullying or physical abuse.

If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

If you see something, say something.

Mariska Hargitay documentary on rape kit crisis puts survivors front and center – Women’s Media Center

The standards and practices accepted as normal

have surfaced to expose the reality of apathetic ,

often abusive treatment in times of extreme trauma.

As harsh as we know this situation is for the feminine ,

I know men have to be heard , and healed of sexual

force that few seek help for.

What remains within both? Rage …Children carry this

in ways that are not acknowledged ..

One goal I have is to see a safe healing place for our

women and children , fleeing abuse.. Privatized

due to the inept abuse of current systems , our local

women healers getting to the heart of the matter , thus

returning a family within that woman , supported

uplifted , loved thru a shameful power trip , avoiding

more abuses ❤️ Empowered !

Mariska Hargitay documentary on rape kit crisis puts survivors front and center – Women’s Media Center
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Amazing Winners of the IAPBP Birth Photography Contest 2018

Our infants did not bond with in family, nor

himself which, with skin to skin , being just 1 example

of father bond in alignment with mom , and infant

which certainly is a major positive ❤️💯

Childbirth represents one of the greatest—and most rewarding—challenges that a human can endure. Every year, the International Association of Professional Birth Photographers (IAPBP) celebrate this poignant experience with their annual birth photography contest.
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