Delusions , Lies , Inherit in Narcissistic Personality Disorder .

The following post by Craig Childress Psy.D.,, speaks to a pathology

ignored as Domestic Abuse /Child Abuse erases family’s by targeting

1 parent in all manner of lies ..often the child , adult is perceived

as NPD , when it’s long held trauma , unnoticed , unhealed , grieving

each day, triggered …as we witness the Domestic Abuse and erasure of

Immigrant families , disappearance of children, failure to be able

to reconnect ..We many targeted parents live with the same dynamics

and the same failures within systems that are supposed to know better.

Childress has it down, as to why this has been allowed through social

norms that have no normalcy , but are very lucrative and powerful

from the top down.. adapting to DSM conjecture of the human beings

mental state …ignoring facts as in my case …upheld as an authority

that has no failings , nor responsibility .,

Gig is up ; it has been along time coming .. Gladly laying this burden

down ..💯🙏🏼✌🏼❤️

Narcissistic psychopathology lies. It lies a lot. It lies all the time. For the narcissistic personality, “Truth and reality are what I assert them to be.”

Mental health professionals who work with narcissistic personality pathology – which includes all mental health professionals working with high-conflict families – should recognize that the narcissistic personality lies. They lie a lot. They lie all the time.

In the world of normal, there is an agreed upon truth and reality. But this is not true when we enter the world of narcissistic psychopathology. The world of the narcissist is a world of their own construction.

In the world of normal, there can be multiple perceptions about events that we can bring together into an agreed upon narrative for what truth and reality are. Not so, when we enter the world of narcissistic psychopathology. The narcissistic pathology has no grounding in actual truth or realty.

Narcissistic psychopathology creates its own alternate universe of truth and reality that bears little resemblance to actual truth and reality. There is not a compromise between different views, because one view is delusional.

And there is no point in arguing with a delusion, or presenting rational facts, truth, and reality to the delusional belief. A delusion – by definition – is a fixed and false belief that is impervious to change based on facts, truth, and reality. If we could change a delusion by presenting it with truth and reality, it wouldn’t be delusional.

There is no point arguing with a delusion. Narcissistic pathology enters the world of delusional.

Theodore Millon is one of the grand kahunas of personalities disorders. He is the author of the gold standard of personality disorder assessment – the MCMI. Here is what Millon says about the narcissistic personality’s hold on reality:

From Millon: “Under conditions of unrelieved adversity and failure, narcissists may decompensate into paranoid disorders. Owing to their excessive use of fantasy mechanisms, they are disposed to misinterpret events and to construct delusional beliefs.”

The narcissistic personality does not always live in the same world of shared truth and reality as the rest of us non-pathology people do. They live in enough of our shared reality so as not to be obviously pathological, but they are pathological.

Aaron Beck is the grand high kahuna of professional psychology. Beck is almost single-handedly responsible for developing an entire scientifically grounded school of psychotherapy, Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. He is also an expert in personality disorder pathology. Here is what Aaron Beck says about the belief systems of the narcissistic personality:

From Beck: “Another conditional assumption of power is the belief of exemption from normal rules and laws, even the laws of science and nature.” (Beck et al., 2004, p. 251-252)

“…even the laws of science and nature.” Yep. For the narcissistic personality, “Truth and reality are whatever I assert them to be.”

All mental health professionals working with attachment-related family pathology surrounding divorce must have a professional level of knowledge regarding narcissistic and borderline personality pathology. This is not optional knowledge. It is knowledge required for professional competence in assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of pathology.

The narcissistic personality lies. It lies a lot. It lies all the time. And it’s delusional.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857

Thy Will being done A message of great import :A love letter of Liberation in daze that try our souls…bags packed

In words , so beautifully articulated a love letter arrived and I must share.

Everything will be alright , if this I am sure . I am currently experiencing a tempered transformation, thankfully , for I have maintained, even in the worst of times , I have erred , I have moved forward , with tools provided by loving hands , gently voices, tuff live and fear based examples from with in and without. A recent living waking dream , albeit with a short shelf life …taught me well.

A cycle has indeed ended for all of us…Constriction, of your truth leads to much harm … I was abled to transform a very heavy negative , with accumulated experiences , folks who are generous in their smiles, eye contact , hugs , a knowing of trials of life , in a circle …never unbroken .

My heart is beyond joy, as a Dream Weaver , to several beloveds , current and past and several blood relatives who have space , and are ready as am I…Shift .

I am where I want to be. I am becoming the person I can live with in harmony , born of much loss…as knowledge gifted , and earned articulated , my credo more than resurrected and refined , I can more accurately be who I am.. be more centered , listen more , as I read this the 1st time I read the post , I was listening to Joni Mitchell sing Clouds .

Earlier tonight I posted on FB , pictures of my afternoon experience

Watching clouds , taking pictures , just being in my loneness, but not lonely .

To me this is LIBERATION , a more inclusive FREEDOM.

I had a long conversation and an email in the last 24 hours that allowed me to acknowledge weak spots , and dealing with em with highest of intents .

Hope Does Indeed Float !

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July 2018 Energies ~ Sculpting The New You ~ July 3, 2018

by cindyloucbp

By Brenda Hoffman

Dear Ones,

You are busily adjusting to new emotions, physical shifts, and intellectual AHAs. Throughout this phase, you will likely feel like an emotional yo-yo.

Even though you are physically, emotionally, and intellectually quite able to integrate these pieces into a new whole, at times, you will feel as if you are on extreme overload. For not only are you shifting throughout your being, so are those of 3D, creating chaos that may seem overwhelming.

Our past messages indicated that those wishing to remain of 3D would be even more adamant about displaying 3D emotions and actions – while those beginning to shift and those of you at the forefront would slip from 3D control.

It is a time of 3D destruction. The phase that follows, which begins after the July 2018 eclipses, is that of the 5D rebuild.

As that rebuild begins, you will often feel as if it is hopeless, as if those with 5D or beyond intentions will never be stronger than those solidly enmeshed in 3D. But day by day you will begin to see progress occurring within hours instead of years or decades. For large groups and communities will turn their backs, so to speak, on 3D control. Forcing those of 3D control to fight back dramatically until their fight seems to be a parody or comedy of life as the world moves into love and joy.

Even though such does not seem possible today, it will happen.

So let us turn to your shifts of the next few days. Your emotions, even your physicality will experience wide swings. Not to punish you but instead created by you to determine who you are.

As has always been true of earth beings – even though you are evolving, you continue to be an earth being – you find it difficult to select something without experiencing it to some degree. So your emotional, intellectual, and physical swings the next few days are helping you choose you.

You will find yourself knowing that you like that, but not this. So it is you are rebuilding you.

Imagine the next few days as the difference between building a crude mud hut, as was true in your 3D world, or creating a home of extreme personal beauty and pleasure. For the hut protected you from the elements but did not satisfy your inner need for beauty and self-care.

You are creating yourself anew and are doing so not out of fear as you have for eons, but of joy and fun – your new creation components.

Your question the next few days is “Who am I?” Once you determine that, you will expand your energy to help those reconfiguring structures.

As has always been true, you are the key component to creating something perfect for you. Then and only then, you will expand those energies to create for the masses – either physically or through energy sharing.

Before this transition, the masses were more important than the individual. Masses controlled in fear by a few.

New Earth and new you are exactly opposite for if you allow or encourage others to control you, you are merely exchanging one 3D world for another; allowing someone to determine what is good for you based on what is most rewarding for them.

In 3D, the question of who you are was voiced but never acted upon for those in control could not have you declaring complete freedom. So you continued lifetime after lifetime changing the rules here and there but always under the control of someone’s dictates.

For the first time on earth, you are claiming your self-contained being and doing so by adding segments of your past, present, and future beings. The next few days are merely you creating a new whole from the segments or colors you now have available.

Thinking in terms of each segment having unique skills and therefore colors, you are creating a new you painting of great pleasure. Some of you will discover that you prefer watercolors to oil paints and others different mediums but all creating images easily changeable until you create the perfect image, blending colors, or discarding this and that much as someone creating a sculpture would.

Exploring those new skills will be your chaos of the next few days. Putting a bit here, painting or cutting over it, selecting another color, emotion, entity, or segment until it is just right.

So it is the next few days, you will be revamping all your personal bits and pieces into the complete being required for your new you role of joy. Do not be frightened anymore than is true for an actor testing how to best present his or her lines, a sculptor cutting away the stone, or a painter testing images and colors.

You are creating you in every joyful way possible. Even though doing so may seem a bit frightening for it is a change without an earth precedent. Allow it to be without fear. So be it. Amen. If you would like to receive Brenda’s Blogs when posted, please click the Subscribe Button on the upper part of her Blog & Subscribe page and then click the – Subscribe to Brenda’s Blog by E-mail – line. Complete your subscription by entering your e-mail address and accepting the e-mail confirmation.

Copyright 2009-2018, Brenda Hoffman. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, add to your newsletter, etc., but maintain this article’s integrity by including the author/channel: Brenda Hoffman & source website link:


cindyloucbp | July 3, 2018 at 18:41 | Tags: 3D desruction, 5D construction, adjusting, Brenda Hoffman, emotional yo-yo, love | Categories: Uncategorized | URL:


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Thanks for flying with

Childress -Going to DC

The Petition to the APA asserts the right of targeted parents for professional competence in the assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of their children and families. Article 3 of the Petition to the APA describes four domains of great concern regarding potential violations of the APA ethics code: Standard 2.01 Boundaries of Competence Standard 9.01 Bases […]

via Going to DC — Dr. Craig Childress: Attachment Based “Parental Alienation” (AB-PA)

Why I stayed-My Plan App

When many people hear that someone is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, their first question is, “Why don’t they leave?” If you’ve never been through an abusive relationship, this sort of response might seem logical. Just throw the deuces up and move on with your life – right? But here’s the thing – when it comes to relationship abuse, it’s never as easy as “just leaving.” We’re here to tell you why.

Leaving an abusive relationship is hard for many reasons. Here are 11 of the many reasons that someone in an unhealthy or toxic situation might stay with their partner.

1. Society normalizes unhealthy behavior so people may not understand that their relationship is abusive.
When you think that unhealthy or abusive behaviors are normal, it’s hard to identify your relationship as abusive and therefore there’s no reason to seek help.

2. Emotional abuse destroys your self-esteem, making it feel impossible to start fresh.
Oftentimes, people in emotionally abusive relationships may not understand that they are being abused because there’s no violence involved. Also, many will dismiss or downplay emotional abuse because they don’t think it’s as bad as physical abuse. It’s hard for those in abusive relationships to leave their partners after they’ve continuously been made to feel worthless and like there’s no better option for themselves.

3. The Cycle of Abuse: after every abusive incident comes a make-up honeymoon phase.
Often when an abusive situation happens, it is followed by the abuser doing something nice or apologizing and promising that they will never do it again. This makes their partner minimize the original abusive behavior.

4. It’s dangerous to leave. Like, VERY dangerous.
Many times, leaving an abusive relationship is not only emotionally difficult, but can also be life-threatening. In fact, the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is post break-up. Women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving their abusive partner than at any other time during the relationship.1

The best way to protect yourself if you are in an abusive relationship is to create a safety plan. For help creating one, check out our My Plan App.

5. It’s not just hard to breakup safely, it’s also hard to escape the cycle of control.
People in abusive relationships often attempt to break up with their partner several times before the break up sticks. On average, a person in an abusive relationship will attempt to leave 7 times before finally leaving for good. People in abusive relationships often attempt to break up with their partner several times before the break up sticks. On average, a person in an abusive relationship will attempt to leave 7 times before finally leaving for good.2

6. Society perpetuates a ride-or-die mindset.
Those in unhealthy or abusive relationships might stay with their partner or get back together after a break up because they feel pressure to not give up, forgive and forget or “ride it out.” Pop culture glamorizes being a “ride-or-die” for your friends and partner, making people out to be in the wrong for leaving their partner. And while being loyal is a great thing, a good friend or partner would never endanger or hurt you.

7. They feel personally responsible for their partner or their behavior.
After a conflict, an abuser will turn the situation around and make their partner feel guilty or as though they are somehow at fault. This type of behavior is known as gaslighting.

8. They believe that if they stick it out, things might change.
A lot of people in abusive relationships stay in them because they love their partner and think that things will change. They might also believe their partner’s behavior is due to tough times or feel as though they can change their partner if they are a better partner themselves. Never stay in a relationship in which you count on someone to change their behavior for the better.

9. There is social pressure to be in a perfect relationship.
There is incredible pressure to be in a perfect relationship, and some cultures and social media only accentuate this pressure.

10. Fear of how others will react.
People in abusive relationships often feel embarrassed to admit that their partner is abusive for fear of being judged, blamed, marginalized, pitied or looked down on. For example, in some LGBTQIA* relationships, someone may stay with their partner for fear of being outed.

11. They share a life together.
Marriage, children, and shared finances are often huge reasons that people in abusive relationships stay in them. This dependency is heightened in relationships where one partner is differently abled. But there are also similar factors that affect young people’s decisions to stay in relationships, including shared friend groups and living situations.

There are lots of elements that influence a person’s decision to stay in an abusive relationship. And while seeking help to get out of these relationships is the most important thing, blaming someone in an abusive relationship is never okay. There is a big difference between judgment and responsibility. While someone might have used bad judgment by staying in an unhealthy or dangerous situation, it does not mean that they are responsible, or asking, for the abuse perpetrated against them.

Protection from Sexual Assault ď»ż

“I draw a line down the middle of a chalkboard, sketching a male symbol on one side and a female symbol on the other. Then I ask just the men: What steps do you guys take, on a daily basis, to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? At first there is a kind of awkward silence as the men try to figure out if they’ve been asked a trick question. The silence gives way to a smattering of nervous laughter. Occasionally, a young a guy will raise his hand and say, ‘I stay out of prison.’ This is typically followed by another moment of laughter, before someone finally raises his hand and soberly states, ‘Nothing. I don’t think about it.’ Then I ask women the same question. What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? Women throughout the audience immediately start raising their hands. As the men sit in stunned silence, the women recount safety precautions they take as part of their daily routine. Here are some of their answers: Hold my keys as a potential weapon. Look in the back seat of the car before getting in. Carry a cell phone. Don’t go jogging at night. Lock all the windows when I sleep, even on hot summer nights. Be careful not to drink too much. Don’t put my drink down and come back to it; make sure I see it being poured. Own a big dog. Carry Mace or pepper spray. Have an unlisted phone number. Have a man’s voice on my answering machine. Park in well-lit areas. Don’t use parking garages. Don’t get on elevators with only one man, or with a group of men. Vary my route home from work. Watch what I wear. Don’t use highway rest areas. Use a home alarm system. Don’t wear headphones when jogging. Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime. Don’t take a first-floor apartment. Go out in groups. Own a firearm. Meet men on first dates in public places. Make sure to have a car or cab fare. Don’t make eye contact with men on the street. Make assertive eye contact with men on the street.”
― Jackson Katz, The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help

Narcissistic Threat

From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @ It all begins with the nightmare of going from being in love (idealized) to being hated (devalued and discarded.) Then discovering the web of deceit and lies at so many levels. Next coming to […]

via What are we grieving? The many stages of comprehension. This is a longer read but an important one that you can absorb over the weekend. — After Narcissistic Abuse

Still she Rose. 

She was raped at the age of 8. Her rapist was found guilty, but spent only one day in jail. After he was released, he was murdered. Because of this, she became mute for almost 5 years, believing her “voice killed him.” “I killed him that man. because I told his name. And, then I thought I would never speak again, because my voice would kill anyone …”
Her name was Marguerite Ann Johnson. Later in life, she would change her name . . . to Maya Angelou.
During this time, this period of suffering, this period of shame and guilt, this period of silence that she “developed her extraordinary memory, her love for books and literature, and her ability to listen and observe the world around her.” A teacher and friend of the family helped Angelou speak again, introducing her to the world of books with authors such as Charles Dickens and William Shakespeare.
When she finally did speak, she said she had a lot to say.
Maya Angelou became a voice for women, a voice for the black community, garnering respect and admiration for her honesty.
She would say, “There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you.”
Angelou was challenged by her friend, author James Baldwin, to write an autobiography, which became “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings”. The book would be critically acclaimed, but banned in schools and libraries because of its honest depiction of rape.
When asked by an interviewer why she wrote about the experience, she indicated that she wanted to demonstrate the complexities of rape. She also wanted to prevent it from happening to someone else, so that anyone who had been raped might gain understanding and not blame herself for it.
She would also later write another book titled “Letter to My Daughter”, which was dedicated to the daughter she never had but sees all around her.
In the book, she says, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
She would also write in her poem,

“And, Still I Rise”

“Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops.

Weakened by my soulful cries…
You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise…”


Do you know someone who tends to lie frequently about any and everything?

Have you caught them in a lie or two and wonder why they continue to lie?
If so, you are obviously dealing with a pathological liar.
What most people fail to recognize about pathological liars is that they often lack the ability to empathize with others (walk in your shoes),
feel guilt about their behavior, and have trouble controlling their inborn impulse to lie.
For most of us, it is very difficult to lie with a straight face and quite easy to feel guilty about the lie.
But for someone with “psychological deficits” or pathological behaviors, it is rather easy for them to lie while exhibiting behaviors and emotions that make the lie believable
.What is most interesting about pathological liars is that many of them know how to control their emotions in such a way that lying can look like the truth to us. This article will explore pathological lying and offer tips on how to protect yourself from their wrath. Having worked with adolescents for the past 7-8 years in the mental health field and juvenile justice system, I  have seen my fair share of teens with socio-pathic, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic traits that includes lying behaviors. The lying behaviors are typically chronic, destructive to others, purposeful and nonpurposeful at times, calculated or impulsive, manipulative, and confusing for everyone. In many cases, pathological lying occurs when you least expect it. I’ve heard many parents make statements such as “I know he is lying when his lips are moving” or “she just tells lies with no problem. She does it with ease.”
The lying is insidious, evil, and sometimes vindictive. Some individuals have developed skill in lying to others and have no fear or regret in engaged in lying to a Judge, police officer, therapist, psychiatrist, family member, spouse, supervisor, etc. They can also present as very calm or charming, provide appropriate eye contact, maintain norming breathing rhythms, be personable or friendly, and have calm body language. These
individuals certainly fit the description of a sociopath and can be very dangerous for society and the lives of those who are in relation to them in some form or fashion. The tragic reality of those who work with, live with,or know a pathological liar is that there are almost always victims. Sometimes you are a part of a lie and may not even know it. Other times, you may know the person is lying, but due to the person being very personable and friendly, you struggle to even consider the fact that maybe you are being lied to. In other cases, you might also struggle to convince others that a respected or liked person is in fact lying. As a result of some pathological liars tend to be charming, sometimes intelligent, have good jobs, and are sociable, we can be blinded to their obvious social, emotional, and cognitive deficits. Because of this reality, it is very important that we understand how to protect ourselves against a pathological liar.

It is even more important that you understand just how damaging these individuals can be. Denial makes it very difficult for some people to believe they would ever
be lied on, harmed, or nearly destroyed by a dangerous liar. Sadly, these are the individuals who become victims. It’s also important to understand that some individuals who  pathologically lie also suffer from certain disorders or have been diagnosed with a myriad of diagnoses such as conduct disorder (CD), oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), or ADHD (i.e., some youths with this diagnosis also have ODD or antisocial traits that contribute to frequent lying) for children and adolescents. For adults, the diagnosis might include but are not limited to borderline personality disorder (BPD), histrionic personality disorder (HPD), antisocial personality disorder (i.e., sociopathy), and some psychotic disorders.
There are certainly ways to protect yourself from a destructive person who sends whirlpools of confusion into your life. You should take every lie seriously and strive to remember:
1.Avoid engaging the pathological liar: If you sense that you are being lied to, perhaps you are. We all have an “internal compass” that signals trouble or peace, truth or fiction. Trust that. There are situations in which you might feel someone is being untrue but later find out they were telling the truth. But in many cases we, as humans, are good barometers.
If you sense that someone is lying to you, don’t make the person feel comfortable by agreeing, nodding, or laughing about it. A blank stare might do the trick in shutting down the lie.
2.Call them out: Sometimes it’s perfectly fine to point out that something isn’t adding up.
You could most certainly put it on yourself by saying “for some reason,
I am confused. Can you explain that to me again?” In counseling sessions the use of confrontation can be powerful if used appropriately and with the right amount of tact. Confrontation does not mean creating an argument but creating an acknowledgement that information isn’t adding up. For example, a confrontation might include you stating “…that’s not what I see happening because I spoke with the Principal and he showed me documentation that you skipped school at 2:00pm on Monday.” Confrontation is using facts to undercut the lie.
3.Play “stupid” : I use this technique quite a bit in sessions with adolescents and young children. If I want a youth to open up or I’m looking to build rapport, I make statements such as “…that’s not what I was t
old, can you help me understand because I’m a bit confused…as always?” Individuals who tend to lie are usually seeking some sort of power over others. If you are able to take a step back and appear unassuming, you can actually become the person “on top” and coax the individual into explaining things so you can evaluate it.
You’re not trying to catch the person in a lie per se, but to clarify information in a nonconfrontational manner.
4.Don’t believe anything until you confirm it:
Someone with a track record of lying behaviors should never be believed at face value. The moment you begin to appear as if you believe what the pathological liar is saying, they will run with it.
Any kind of approval or trust the pathological liar can sense makes them feel powerful and energized to continue the behavior. It’s always good, when speaking to someone who frequently lies, to remain neutral, detached, and focused.
You should weigh everything you are being told against the facts.

5.Don’t argue or fight with the pathological liar:
It’s not worth your energy to argue with someone who lives in a fantasy or psychologically unstable word. Most liars lack an identity and struggle with feelings of insecurity and abandonment. Other pathological liars are simply sociopathic and overly confident. Either way, don’t argue or get into a confrontation with the  liar because they will use circular arguing, demean you, and possibly create more lies to use in the future (possibly against you).You will never get to the truth, even with the use of intimidation. In some cases, you might get only half of the truth. It’s best to step back, work
around the pathological liar, and keeping a safe distance. Pathological liars are difficult to live with or work with because you can’t determine what is true and what is false.
You also cannot determine when the next lie will come. I have found in my work that many of the individuals and families who live with pathological liars can also struggle
with their own sense of reality. It’s difficult to sometimes to weed out fiction from the truth when all you know is the lies the person tells you. It’s very easy to second guess yourself or question if something is wrong with you.
My suggestion to people struggling with this issues is to keep your distance, if you can, and remain focused on the facts.
Be mindful of your emotions and learn to question how you feel about what you are being told by the pathological liar.
Questions to ask yourself may include: “Do I feel comfortable with what is being said to me?”
“Do I feel foolish or silly while listening to this story?”
“Why am I questioning the legitimacy of what is being said to me right now?”
The most important goal for anyone who is dealing  with a pathological liar is to always remember your dignity and self respect.
A pathological liar typically has very little to no empathy and will take you as far as you let them.…