We MUST actualize the truth that there is NOTHING real about the Narcissist ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
— Read on afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2018/12/14/we-must-actualize-the-truth-that-there-is-nothing-real-about-the-narcissist-absolutely-nothing/
In drawing Beloved towards one, I wear a ring , heart pointed out,
I burn a red candle with a rose thorn , on a New Moon , detailing Beloved
and he is … Having his own process set in motion by events , in perfect
order that we both be lighter in coming together . Divine timing brings
twins together in mass for the Divinity of days ahead …I am extremely
proud of the 1st male I have ever known on this plane who embodies
everything …the end of the freaking earth…
I had an occasion to consider the following song was directed towards
Beloved , each and every word given today .
The song has intense meaning on many levels .. it was a song , I hardly
knew , in 1989. The psychiatric experience was a culmination of many
traumatic experiences and Xanax . Addiction was not mention , but
autistic symptoms and suspected bipolar were , as were Domestic Abuse
that escalated a still accredited Dr in Virginia . I discovered he saw my
grandmother Cora Lee , but she was Blessed to have her youngest daughter
After a brain wave test , perhaps my 2 nd day in, already in an sensitive
state , pushed above and beyond any experience I have known
I was put in a padded closet . I am not aware if I had been locked
in , but for a period of time in that space , my mind , my heart
screamed out the words to the following song . I felt in all ways
as this video examples , shattered , in so many fragments , I might
never be put together again. I was altered for sure .
A peaceful quiet Christian woman , who became by roommate
was my anchor after attempts on my life , realizing my abuser
had control and I was very vulnerable , as were our children .
I surrendered to return to our home , complaint to raise our sons
and do his bidding ..5 years later I turned to professionals , and was
induced into Bipolar ; ignoring Abuse and Trauma.
I sang/screamed this song to Universe, Beloved please come to me.
Faith says yes , he is near..
And that closes a circle of almost 30 years ….😘❤️🎶
Patience is prayer , I long ago surrendered to Enchanted Love as I always
aspired to meeting in the middle . Far too many lessons in inequality of
gender brings a forced neutrality …finally .. I get that , and it doesn’t
matter if no one else does , and Heaven on earth when they do…tribe
finds you, as it has found me.
Returning to love was my RX ..all that is entailed and induced by actions
and reactions that DO have relativity .
And that is a ” good thing ‘ .
Blessings & Peace
Surrender is often taboo, like death , it’s an unknown
a frontier of fear and dank and darkness …I was so there
for so many years , 13 as a over medicated , ” mental”
patient ..my journaling attest to my effort to connect
with Spirit ..I know I would have exited had it not been
for each of our sons, my parents , siblings etc.
An induced ” attempted ” suicide via an RX , was inferred
as my emotional state due to a divorce ..
My “emotional state ” was 3600 mg of a highly addictive
RX , and a partner leaving our home to be happy , and
sharing that happy publicly..crowing …adding to the shame
then projected blame , sailing through with aide of his personal
family supplier of funds ..His Beloved …no doubt ” Bonded
in trauma , owning an elitist mentality and barren emotional
addictive life style that defied spirit or growth..
It has long since been in my stages of recovery , that retaliation
would not be my focus , but that’s still the perception of folks
whose fear drives them..I know this…I am there focused on
reclaiming my personhood …My fragmented heart , has been
patched with with such gold as to certify as a glow worm !
In that my Beloved shared her dream of me as a child , as
this child had known deep shadow , and much separation
and trauma, Beloved saw me as a very happy child self again.
Showing my child self picture , she smiled and said, yes that was
your child healed and happy in my dream..
This yet another profound gift , I wish to share , a gift..
“Until you surrender your need to know why things happened
to you as they did , you will hold on to those wounds with intense
emotional fire . Your mind will want to heal but your pride , anger
and emotions will remain caught up in wanting to make sure
that the people who hurt you feel bad about what they’ve done.
Or you may want to hurt the, back . But rest assured , your emotional
self will remain attached to unfinished business rooted in feelings
of abandonment and humiliation , of having lost something or
being cheated . Your mind may do what’s required for healing
and go through all the prescribed steps , but your heart will never
fully participate in the healing process . In the end, forgiveness is
an act of release , surrendering a need for explanation . From that
prospective , forgiveness has nothing to do with the individuals
who harmed you . It is the act of accepting that there is a greater
map of life , through which many rivers of events and relationships
all interconnected . Forgiveness is your release from the hell
of events and relationships , all interconnected. Forgiveness is your
release from hell of wanting to know what cannot be known and
and wanting to see others suffer because they have hurt you.”
It is a reclamation , after too many years of non negotiation , which
has been an equation of his children/grandchild are his ..I own
half ” his” property .. Does not compute , and I am ever Thankful
to throw down this monkey , a circus that supports ErasingFamilies
or Domestic Abuse , and move into manifesting safety for those
in need …Praying divine assist his journey ..
2019 is a very special, a very holy new beginning …🙏🏼
It is so for me , as we Spirituality Detox these dank shadows
know it’s soon to be de solved as more light evaporates
Journeying closer and closer in heart’s longing for harmony .
Blessings & Peace
Just A Little More Background On My Situation With the late
Some of you may have never met me or heard of me and you’re reading this for the first time. Some of you may be perps and some of you might be my friends. To make a long story short, my ex husband is a deeply disturbed person who is hell-bent on revenge. We spent a long marriage together before I finally left him. At some point he signed me up for a harassment program through his connections to some people who are alleged to be employees of the NSA or CIA. I was unaware of this until a little over a year ago. They’re claiming to be from Cicada 3301, a LARPer group that works doing online live larps and alternate reality games, but for all I know, maybe they are not them…
I’ve had to start a GoFundMe again (https://www.gofundme.com/child-support-to-transgender-rapist) because I don’t want to go to jail and have a record that would prevent me from getting a law license when I sit for the bar again (I’ve failed twice, thanks to my apparent inability to fight back the tears that come with losing custody, and thanks to having so many kids to take care of that I don’t have much time for studying).
In 2010, I tried divorcing him but I was extremely stupid and I didn’t consult an attorney until after I told him I wanted a divorce. We tried counseling but there was no way I was going to stay. He ended up hiring a lawyer after making many threats that he was going to take everything from me including the kids. He then raped me and told me that I was not allowed to hire an attorney or he would stop giving me and the kids money, kick me out of the house, and drag it out in court until he was sure I would lose everything. He told me his dad was willing to fund this in case our money got tied up by the judge.
Long story short, by March 2011 all I wanted was to get out of the marriage as smoothly as possible. In Texas there is no guaranteed spousal support so I took what I could get and moved out after the rape, thinking that I was doing a good job of splitting everything up equally because of my belief that he would be able to take the kids away from me and we would end up having to move in with my parents. I wanted to stay closer to their school and on my own and I thought I could make it on my own because I was almost done with law school so I wrongly assumed that I would be able to graduate, quickly pass the bar exam and then be fine. He was making $125k to $130k per year and I somehow stupidly thought I could make it on $1400 per month child support and $900 or so per month in equity from our house with 50 50 custody and student loans etc. I could probably pull that off living with my parents, but without that, it just became too difficult on that budget with two kids.
I then decided to graduate a semester earlier than planned just so I could get a job sooner.
I moved out at the beginning of March but that is when things turned bad. Within a couple of weeks he told me that if I didn’t sign the orders he had his lawyer draw up, he wouldn’t be paying child support that month, or sending the equity, so I would have had no way to pay rent the second month. (https://steemit.com/divorce/@amyjamey/that-awkward-moment-when-my-ex-husband-forced-me-to-sign-a-divorce-decree-without-an-attorney)
I was left no choice but to try and keep things going smoothly and agree to the things he had in there. I had a friend review the orders and she thought they looked ok so I just signed them, he fake fired his lawyer and tried to get a refund on his retainer, and then we went in front of the judge to finalize everything. I was so relieved that I was away from him and so happy to have that over with. He even forwarded me an email from the attorney at the time that I tried to get admitted later, where that lawyer obviously knew a lot of things about what Joel said about me that were completely untrue, and he was trying to call Joel an insane person, saying both of us were crazy. This was probably the first piece of evidence I have of him lying about me to everyone around us.
Looking back I was a complete moron. I should have done things differently but I didn’t. I didn’t stand up for myself before moving out and giving him all the power.
For the prior 14 1/2 years (since 1996) I had given my entire youth to this person and sacrificed a lot from my career so that he could go to graduate school and get a good job so I could become a stay at home mom. The entire time I still wanted to go back to school but I didn’t know that he was against this as he had agreed to it while we were dating. I put him through school at Texas A&M and paid all of our bills the first few years while he was in grad school and establishing his career but he was against me going to law school and he has kept me down ever since I started.
My ex husband had a disturbing habit that he only revealed to me after I had already fallen in love with him and that is that he is a TIM (a trans identified man). His delusions are described in detail here:
I found myself single with no adequate means of support less than a year after getting a divorce for this reason (I finally couldn’t handle his perversion any more and just had to get away). I did want to modify the child support almost immediately, as I felt it was inadequate after only a few months of living on it. I called his bluff by telling him that every time he would complain to me if I asked for more money early from the equity agreement, that he wanted me to go get on welfare, by telling him that he needed to pay his fair share of child support instead. He demanded that I sign over the house to him on a quitclaim deed and I said no because I knew that he already had the house anyway and I was still on the mortgage and did not want to keep myself on the hook for that while legally signing it over to him. He ended up selling it without my signature anyway so the whole quitclaim thing was stupid.
He used this argument we were having about him not paying as much as the state requires as a fake excuse for what he had planned all along which was to sue me for custody less than a year after the divorce so he could get out of paying me anything at all. Due to the doctrine res judicata, any event that takes place prior to the date of the last final hearing is inadmissible in court. So after he sued me, I wasn’t allowed to talk about anything that made me look good in court or made him look bad. When I went back to court after he sued me, I was expecting a fair hearing but that is not what happened. Much like with hard core child trafficking, soft core child trafficking is the exchange of children for money in exchange for bribery and favors, which is what occurred. There was literally nothing significant that happened during the hearing that legally should have entitled him to custody whatsoever. The judge just took his time to go through the fake hearing and then handed my kids to my ex. I was told by my lawyer that we would have another chance to remedy the situation if I moved back into my old neighborhood so I moved 5 minutes from their school.
As soon as I did that my ex stalled, and then mysteriously my attorney went dark the day my discovery responses were due. Joel’s lawyer tried to have me sanctioned for $5k. I was without a lawyer and being dragged into court with no money and no child support and depending only on my parents for help.
All in all I ended up going through 3 attorneys, being pro se for a while, getting remarried, and then losing the case completely. At the second hearing the judge allowed Attorney Howard Shapiro to get out of my demand for a jury trial by pretending that he wasn’t prepared for a jury. Then I was forced into submission with more restrictions such as the typical things you see in parental alienation… restricting and taking away phone calls, and limiting me to 2 hours a week visits plus weekends.
My parents were helping me during this time and they are not rich, but they did spend more on attorneys than they probably should have in retrospect.
I have applied for legal aid but they won’t take my case for many reasons, probably a combination of the fact that I have a law degree and now, the fact that my case is in a county I don’t live in and that they don’t travel from.
Since 2011, I received one year of child support plus a few months. From October 2012 until today, I’ve been on my own and raising my kids the best I can with my parents and my husband helping me.
I met my second husband and we fell in love immediately and got married within a couple of months. We’ve been put through hell by my ex and he has hung in there more than most men would. There were MULTIPLE false police reports and CPS reports against me but they always get ruled out. When I tried to press charges against him for the false reports the cops will not refer the case to the DA so I have to just put up with it.
During my marriage and divorce I received two human rights awards from CCHR International for my efforts to help others become aware of the dangers of psychiatric drugs. I was published in Pathways Magazine http://pathwaystofamilywellness.org/Informed-Choice/the-pill-merchants-the-relentless-and-tragic-marketing-of-psychiatric-drugs.html and featured on every local news station as well as in TIME Magazine https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19655648 and http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1909628,00.html.
Senator Robert Menendez had a bill he wanted to pass that would screen all moms for PPD and I was very much against this. I started a coalition and basically became a prominent activist for a while. https://uniteforlife.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/a-message-to-anyone-who-says-melanie-stokes-did-not-receive-enough-psychiatric-treatment/
I no longer associate with Scientologists or CCHR but that does not mean I am not still proud of the work I once did. I ran a blog, wrote research articles and tried to befriend a lot of people.
A year ago I was investigating Pizzagate and Elsagate when I became the obvious target of some anonymous stalkers but I later realized that the reason had nothing to do with my investigations, it was somehow linked to my ex husband. He manipulated our children’s school and was somehow able to get a CPS case against me by accusing me of allowing a pedophile to groom my son when I reported one of the threats against us to the school. The stalker put a threat against me into writing and I can only assume he had his buddies do it or he did it directly to me himself, but the stalker worded it as though I was the problem because I had reported Doyle Mills of Scientology for suspected pedophilia: https://uniteforlife.wordpress.com/2017/08/06/why-i-no-longer-talk-to-former-cchr-friends/ and https://whyweprotest.net/threads/doyle-mills-osabot.78333/page-2. They simply turn it around and invert it on you and say things like “you let a pedophile groom your kid.” Something that I did not do.
The many many things that they have done to me include what seems like a combination of cyberstalking, hacking my emails or surveillance of some kind, death threats, and other covert forms of stalking / targeting. In addition to that, he has the AG’s office siding with him and got them to file a malicious and false case against me based on something that was prohibited in our orders. For years they kept my child support obligation to him higher than it was supposed to be by claiming that I owed him medical copays that I didn’t owe because he refuses to use Medicaid for the kids so I don’t have the obligation.
If the AG had not done this I would be current right now on my child support obligation to him, because I could’ve modified it in spite of their b.s.
In September of this year we went to court and the AG and his attorney both agreed I don’t owe him the copays and then allowed me to lower my child support obligation to minimum wage. I’d been trying to lower my child support to minimum wage since 2014 when I was out of work for 6 months. I applied 3 times and filed a motion that was ignored for many months while they wasted my time racking up my obligation to as high as possible through resets and threats.
I went from having to pay him $687 per month to $525 per month to finally $322 per month and then $199 per month plus arrearages. This new amount is a lot more fair but I haven’t been able to pay it since September because I’m unemployed right now. My husband is in school and I watch our kids, so I’m basically a stay at home mom and he is working at a job that he only recently got because he was trying to finish school.
A few weeks after the September hearing the AG sent me a letter in the mail demanding $1000 by December 22. I felt like this was extremely hypocritical and unfair because I had just paid several thousand dollars in child support via my tax returns. The AG office does not count this as a voluntary payment and they can put me in jail. What they want is total compliance. They want regular payments of the $199 plus the arrearage payment, monthly and on time, or they can put me in jail. There is a statute in Texas that allows the court to jail me for 6 months for every month I don’t pay on time.
If I were able to find a job and keep it, I could afford this per month, but ever since I lost my job at Baum Hedlund at the close of their Cymbalta litigation I have not been able to find anything. I’ve lost 3 jobs now because of pregnancy and it’s clear until I stop having kids that I’m not a good potential employee or a suitable breadwinner.
The fact that our case wrapped up in September with the AG modification and that they then threatened me within a month or two of an enforcement suit tells me that they plan to follow through on Joel’s efforts to completely keep me from ever being able to pass the bar or even to put me in jail immediately as soon as he can get a court date.
The average amount paid in Texas by fathers is $267 if I am not mistaken. For years I was forced to pay double or even more than double that… The mere fact that I’m a woman means that nobody believes me when I complain about what I’ve been through because there are so many men who are tired of paying child support and losing custody that there is a huge stigma against any woman who has lost custody.
Some of my friends who are lawyers have told me that any time a man fights, he wins, and that the family court is stacked against mothers because mothers tend to come back to court more often and that brings in more federal dollars to fund the courts.
My own research brought me to a website for an expert who said that studies show that in a large majority of cases, like 70% or so, custody is uncontested and moms have custody. But that in the other 30% of cases, they’re contested, and men win 80% of the time due to legal abuse and financial control of the situation.
The death threats I was subjected to by Joel’s buddies include things like threats that the Finders Cult of the CIA would be coming for my kids, and being sent a video of a teenager getting decapitated
(https://steemit.com/pizzagate/@thehoneybee/memorial-for-a-murdered-child-after-school-pizza-movie-exposed), photos of dead bodies (https://steemit.com/elsagate/@amyjamey/joel-philo-and-his-sinister-twitter-account-a-clarification-on-the-cyberstalking-posts-from-months-ago), and statements like “do not trust him you will die” and “see your mother put to death.” (This one – https://twitter.com/realamyjamey/status/1069365591943905287) came after my kids told him my mom is being treated for breast and lymphatic cancer. I’m taking care of her daily.)
I can only imagine the lies he has told his friends and buddies in the NSA or CIA to make them think I’m somehow worthy of being treated like this.
My ex works for Infor, and according to the stalkers he hired, he makes $250k per year. https://www.infor.com/blog/we-are-in-this-together-sink-or-swim
https://voat.co/v/pizzagate/2272830 – this post was made by a perp trying to make it look like I approved of him being doxxed…
I guess it pays to target innocent women you’ve raped.
I told my friend Dona who asked me to write up a detailed explanation that I don’t want to fight him anymore, I just want to pay and walk away. Unfortunately I’ve tried looking for work, even temporary work, freelance work, selling my belongings, and a GoFundMe. There have only been 9 shares and one $35 donation to Joel that I am going to send in by the Dec. 22 deadline.
There’s no point in fighting him anymore. I just want to keep my freedom and move on with life. If anyone can help me reach the $1k goal I would greatly appreciate it.
Hopelessness is not a place I hang out in over long .
My offering this night is of progress …
14 generations of family karma of a negative manner
will be compacted , reduced , transformed by light.
As a Nona , I prayed for a granddaughter under
construction , after 3 grandsons who I have not been
allowed to know, in promise of her world being better.
In supporting her, I knew many would be positively
affected , and in the On/Off of my allowance in her life
an awareness of fragility with her parents, I
continue as the projected adversary . Any despair
was rewarded by guidance that assures my
heart and soul that she will have an easier path..
The targeted 18 years of transforming our world , has
16 years left.
As a Leap Year child , who acknowledged
a quantum Leap 11/23 , a mother load of change awaits .
Compassion is safe harbor , Change is here ..In Harper’s
life time in her generation Thy Will Be Done .
A generation who owns the truth, demands the truth
lovingly supported and guided , always .
“Planting seeds” , always …even more reason to Hope❤️
I am expecting and receiving many miracles . Light
is overtaking shadow ..peace is within grasp..
I am ok with my physical not being around , though
I sense I will be to witness the acceptance of Heaven
on Earth , as each cell in my body rejoices .
Having stored limitless years of research , many
lifetimes of experience , this old soul will present
Hope to all those family who grieve deeply in the
sacredness of a magical gifted time, I offer you
solid facts that should lift your spirit higher .
I rejoice that after far too many adversities , a 20 year
cycle , in this 1998-2018 insanity and adversity
that deserves liberation via 3 constants ..
Much has converged to thwart my efforts , delays
that depleted my physical ..Shattered fragments have
lovingly been redefined , remodeled , over and over
I return to being a soldier of love .. I come in peace
I will be heard , I will be supported ..far too many
cannot … I am honored that I am abled to do so.
Rejoicing this night , I offer a gift of music …
Tomorrow substantive , offerings …unless yet another
human prevails that preempts me… rest assured I will
do all I can to aide in a return to love.
An incredible moving company in California helps victims of domestic violence by moving their belongings at no charge. After starting the company with his brother 18 years ago, owner Aaron Steed was at first surprised by the calls: “I’d periodically get calls from someone — usually a woman — fleeing an abusive relationship. There were a lot of intense moments and crying… I remember the conversations pretty vividly and feeling a tremendous amount of panic and sadness. Handling those phone calls made it very real very quick. As the jobs went on, we realized we were potentially saving lives.” After recognizing the scale of the need and unwilling to take money from people in such distress, the brothers decided to make free moving services for people fleeing violent situations a company policy.
The company, Meathead Movers, primarily employs student athletes and works with local domestic violence shelters to ensure that all movers are trained to handle the tense situations they may encounter during a move. One mover, AJ Clarey, described helping a woman move from the same San Luis Obispo County town where he grew up: “That hit home for me. The shelter she was working with contacted us and we discreetly set up the move. When we showed up, she had everything packed. We moved her items from one side of the county across to the other. When we finished, she was literally in tears. Without our help she wouldn’t have been able to pay to get her stuff moved. We got her into a safe place with her children.”
Such experiences, Steed believes, are important for his young employees and their understanding of domestic violence. “As I get older, I can’t help but really value and appreciate more and more the tone this sets for my employees who are involved in actually moving these victims,” he reflects. “I can’t help but think and hope that it changes their perception of themselves and their ability to have a major impact to do something that can really help someone in need.”
As for the survivors themselves, Meathead Movers’ rapid and discreet service has been invaluable. “They’re wonderful, sensitive, caring and enthusiastic,” says Kathleen Buczko, executive director of Good Shepherd Shelter, a refuge for homeless women and children in Los Angeles. “They help turn something that had been associated with something that was so incredibly traumatic into a celebration of moving to their new homes and to a new life.”
For those who would like to help, the company asks supporters to donate to domestic violence shelters in their own communities — you can find listings for US shelters (https://www.domesticshelters.org/) and for shelters around the world (http://www.hotpeachpages.net/). They also encourage other business owners to get involved in helping end domestic violence at http://www.meatheadmovers.com/pledge/
To read more about the compassionate movers of Meathead Movers in the LA Times, visit http://lat.ms/1TZdG9l
For stories of girls and women experiencing and overcoming abuse and violence in their lives — which offer a helpful way to talk to young people about the widespread problem of violence against women — visit our “Abuse & Violence” book section at amgrl.co/1lQzaJG
To help your Mighty Girl learn how to build supportive, mutually respectful relationships, there is an excellent guide that provides foundational advice on approaching relationships in a healthy manner, “A Smart Girl’s Guide to Boys,” for girls 9 to 13 http://www.amightygirl.com/a-smart-girl-s-guide-to-boys
For LQBTQ youth seeking relationship guidance, we recommend “Queer” for ages 13 and up at http://www.amightygirl.com/queer
An outstanding resource for older teens and adults about the early warning signs of abusive relationships, myths about abusive personalities, and how to get help is “Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” at http://amzn.to/1UfD7mU
If you’re a parent concerned that your daughter may be in an unhealthy relationship, check out the books “But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Relationships” (http://www.amightygirl.com/but-i-love-him) and “Saving Beauty From The Beast: How to Protect Your Daughter from an Unhealthy Relationship” (http://www.amightygirl.com/saving-beauty-from-the-beast).
For books for children and teens about the power of kindness to change the world, visit our “Kindness & Compassion” section at http://amgrl.co/1JIHLCr
Included in the selection are two of our favorite books focused on fostering children’s compassion for others by giving them a visual way to think about kindness: “Have You Filled a Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids” for ages 4 to 8 (http://www.amightygirl.com/have-you-filled-a-bucket-today) and its sequel “Growing Up With A Bucket Full Of Happiness” for ages 9 to 12 (http://www.amightygirl.com/growing-up-with-a-bucket-full-of-happiness).
I want to take a moment to introduce a new line into discussion – there is a historical context to what we are doing.
I am a single lone psychologist working all by myself from Southern California, and I am having a significant impact on a 40-year-long, impossible-to-solve pathology in the family court system.
Love me or hate me, I’m having impact.
How? How is one lone person accomplishing what has eluded all other professionals for 40 years – a solution.
How am I doing this?
The “how” of AB-PA and Dr. Childress is going to generate a lot of professional discussion and analysis once the dust settles. This interest will be in the field of Internet psychology.
First, AB-PA, by itself is going to generate a ton of research beginning in about five years and then over the following decade, once the paradigm shifts. We’ll be hoping to spearhead this research at two university-based training sites for court-involved clinical psychology. This will be using AB-PA as the foundation for research (not “proving” AB-PA; AB-PA doesn’t need “proving” – I’ll discuss this elsewhere).
But even more intriguing for PsyD doctoral student dissertations will be an analysis of HOW I accomplished what I did, and on the analysis of the pathogen’s actions and revealed structure. I predict at least one entire dissertation on: “AB-PA and the Gardnerian PAS Experts” and a second entire dissertation on “The Gardnerian Pathogen”.
The flying monkey phenomenon (with extensions into malignant narcissism and gang stalking) offers a third entire dissertation. This would be an excellent dissertation – 100% publishable – use personality disorder journals for submission, framing the flying monkey ally phenomenon as a feature of narcissistic-borderline pathology (unresolved trauma; vicarious resolution of childhood trauma).
Everything we are doing is documented. All of my blogs, the Gardnerian blogs, these Facebook posts, everything has a documented record, perfect for dissertation research – data without the hassle of running subjects; just sit at home and collect “archival data” from the Internet, perfect for a student.
One of the more interesting structures for a dissertation question is whether the Gardnerian PAS model was in (unconscious-preconscious) collusion with the pathogen. That’s an interesting premise question – was Gardner an unconscious ally of the pathogen or its adversary? – Was he used or abused?
If this is a trans-generational transmission of a sex abuse incest pathogen (as Dr. Childress proposes), it’s intriguing that Gardner emphasized the false allegations of sex abuse (that generated substantial controversy) and then compounded the controversy by making very inappropriate and incorrect statements about child motivations for incest and sexual abuse. Why did Gardner overlook the narcissistic-domestic violence variant of the pathology of the abusive husband and victimized wife?
The psychology question is, why was Gardner focused on the sex abuse component? Perhaps because of his own unresolved family of origin “mommy issues” that were finding display in his focus. He was Freudian from what I hear, so all sorts of Oedipal stuff becomes relevant. Absence of frontal lobe executive function systems for logical reasoning… clearly he has the pathogen. An interesting dissertation: “Gardner: An Unconscious Ally or Failed Adversary?”
That sort of analysis would look at how the Gardner PAS model disabled actual knowledge (attachment – family systems therapy – trauma – personality pathology) from reaching your families, and on how no one was motivated to seek an established definition for the pathology.
This type of dissertation research will look at specific people who should have known – but didn’t. Why not? Why did no one make the effort?
So there will be one level of analysis as to whether Gardner himself was unconsciously used by the pathogen (maybe; there are arguments on both sides), and then a second level of argument as to whether his followers, the “PAS experts,” were used by the pathogen (yes).
The central line for this type of dissertation will be on the “sides” created by the splitting pathology (narcissistic-borderline pathology) into the “opposing sides” of professional psychology Gardner vs non-Gardner; and on how this was a false (fabricated) argument because neither one actually solves the pathology, they just remain in eternal circular conflict and failure to solve.
If professional psychology doesn’t go to Gardner, then Bowlby-Minuchin-Beck – established psychology – fully solves the pathology. Gardner’s PAS prevented (and prevents) solution by diverting psychology AWAY from established knowledge – Bowlby-Minuchin-Beck – which will fully solve the pathology – into a completely inadequate model for pathology.
I don’t expect these types of dissertations until after I’m dead, but they’re easy enough to do. Blogs offer great written material for analysis, Facebook leaves a documentation trail.
I have two audiences for all of my Internet writing; current people and future dissertations. I fully expect all professional people to be subjected to the full 20-20 hindsight critique of professional psychology once this is solved and the dust settles. APA that includes you. Mercer, that includes you. Woodall, Bernet, that includes you.
How are you going to be seen in future dissertations and in the hindsight of history? That becomes a consideration. And history will remember you by name as a feature of the pathology. I imagine there will be a whole section of a dissertation describing the failure of the PASG to act, and the role of Bill Bernet in that. They’ll look at all the discussion of AB-PA in the PASG and compare it to my blogs asking for help.
Everything and everyone – is going to be open for scrutiny and critique from the cold retrospective hindsight of history.
There is going to be a lot of historical attention paid to what we are doing right now, and all of our decisions will be subjected to intense scrutiny from the 20-20 vision of hindsight – Karen Woodall’s statements (and shifting positions across time), Bill Bernet’s decisions to reject AB-PA (the established knowledge of professional psychology), the minor’s counsel documented record of attack, and the APA’s complicity in the abuse of parents and children by the rampant and unchecked ignorance and incompetence of forensic psychology.
Everything is documented.
I love the Internet. Did you know my initial expertise was in Internet psychology? That was my dissertation – Internet Psychology.
Early in my doctoral career I was an invited presenter at a World Health Organization conference in Munich on Internet Psychology, and I was an invited presenter regarding Internet Psychology at a professional working group convened by the American Academy for the Advancement of Science in Washington, DC . Expenses paid – not like a convention presentation.
I’m using that knowledge about Internet psychology. That’s going to be another wonderful dissertation for some doctoral student, how Dr. Childress used the Internet to create change in forensic psychology and the family court system. My suggestion to the student is to organize by type of media – online video — website – blog – Facebook.
Then there’s my personal journal article writing. I haven’t started writing my articles yet. I’ve been too busy getting the solution in place that my time was better spent on things other than journal articles. That’s changing.
In 2019, most everything is in place now, so my writing will take a higher priority. I’ll start with an ethics journal article, then a trauma article and a psychoanalytic article. So my personal writing for journals will start to pick up starting in 2019 and continuing through 2025.
So far, none of this has been Dr. Childress. AB-PA is Bowlby-Minuchin-Beck.
I anticipate writing my Dr. Childress stuff beginning in about 2022. It’ll be on the trauma pathogen and the “matrix of abuse” created in forensic psychology. That is going to be an interesting book. It’ll be 100% Dr. Childress, unlike everything up till now which has been 0% Dr. C. But I’ve got a lot to write before that, all my 2019 stuff – the 2020 stuff will be really good; that’s when I anticipate I’ll be able to open the psychoanalytic stuff (that will be some great-great stuff).
So pathogen allies – be aware. Everything you do is documented and everything you do will be subjected to the scrutiny of history – you, by name – your personal role in either creating the solution or in obstructing solution, and your role in continuing the abuse of children and the emotional violence inflicted against their parents, or in ending it, will be known. You. By name.
The pathogen has three defenses, it hides, it seeks allies, and it attacks threats with great viciousness. We are going to expose the pathogen when it attacks – and we are going to expose it’s allies – by name. Or, more accurately… they will expose themselves – individually – by name.
They will expose themselves. For the Internet Psychology student doing your dissertation, I call them trap-memes that activate on attack (there’s a cute origin for that name, trap-meme that activates on attack. If you get your dissertation committee up before I’m dead, email me and I’ll tell you the origin for this term).
The cold light of history will offer a stern critique of everyone in this time of change and solution – and everything is documented. Everyone is on record – and have been on record.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857
Having had the experience of ” induced ” mania
which colorized my shadow world of Bipolar
though no one spoke of it …in all I was on my
This video, this music brought , Grace, Beauty
and Glorious color and HOPE as I began to adapt
my world to a slower pace , it was not age that
slows me but awe that details be savored ..
Going fast , in too many ways and directions
resulted in blurred lines , drab colors , faded
My nurture is self focused tonight and gratefully
all has conspired in allowance of peace in da heart
as well as da house…
May your heart be lifted in joy , beauty and imagination.
Much Love ❤️ Much Peace & Many Blessings
Part of the process of Domestic Abuse/Child Abuse Recovery is receiving
gifts as is the offering described below by Craig Childress .
Shadow is strong , Light is much stronger .
Love Builds Bridges ❤️
On the second day of Christmas…
I just got Dorcy her Christmas present. Shhhh, don’t tell her.
It’s a book by a renowned family therapist, Cloe Madanes, entitled: Changing Relationships: Strategies for Therapists and Coaches.
Cloe Madanes just published it earlier in the year, in 2018. Cloe is my absolute all-time favorite family therapist. She was married to Jay Haley, the other top echelon family therapist I quote, and Cloe and Jay Haley and Salvador Minuchin all worked at the same Child Guidance Clinic in Philadelphia back in the 70s, and this particular clinic was one of the several focal points for the development of family therapy. Cloe Madanes is like top-of-the-top family therapist.
Salvador Minuchin is called “structural” family systems therapy, Jay Haley and Cloe Madanes are called “strategic” family systems therapy. Same basic principles, different approaches to intervention.
And in 2018 Cloe Madanes writes a book for therapists and coaches… and coaches… right there in the title. You see, in family systems therapy, we totally understand families. Cloe Madanes is not even aware of what’s happening in forensic psychology, and independently in her world of normal family therapy she is fully comfortable working in complete collaboration with family coaches.
So comfortable, that she writes a book of “Strategies for Therapists and Coaches” without even batting an eye – right there in the title. In family systems therapy, the collaboration of therapists and coaching is fully wonderful, fully recognized, and fully legitimate. Family systems therapists get it. We understand families, we understand solutions.
And remember, Cloe Madanes has no idea that your families or this pathology over here in “forensic psychology” even exists. Clinical psychology is prohibited from working with your children and families or we’ll lose our license, so Cloe and all of family therapy do not work with your families.
Don’t believe me? Read Cloe’s book and see if that resembles anything even remotely close to your experience of “family therapy” (or “reunification therapy”) – not even; uh-unh, not at all. Not even in the same universe. One’s family therapy and one’s just whatever-nonsense.
Family therapy is one of the four primary schools of psychotherapy, the others being psychoanalytic (Freud and the coach), humanistic-existential (self-actualization and hot tubs), and cognitive-behavioral therapy (lab rats and Learning Theory). All psychotherapy without exception should be from one of these four primary schools… otherwise, it’s not psychotherapy… it’s just whatever-nonsense.
Family therapy is the only school of psychotherapy that is for families, it is the type of psychotherapy that should be used with your families, but isn’t being used… because forensic psychology is not using any form of established or defined psychotherapy with your families.
Meanwhile, over in clinical psychology, the family therapy and family coach collaboration is so wonderful that the premiere family therapist, Cloe Madanes, writes a book in 2018 specifically for family therapists and coaches.
Cloe doesn’t even actually discuss the role of coaches and therapists… because it’s actually a non-issue and so ordinary that it’s not worth discussing. She mostly just begins sentences saying…
From Cloe Madanes: “In a strategic approach to coaching and to therapy, the most frequent intervention is the directive…” (p. 14).
From Cloe Madanes: “Reframing is a communication strategy broadly used by therapists and coaches. People typically present one view of the obstacles that trouble them. The coach/therapist transforms these obstacles into new difficulties that can be solved…” (p. 15),
Notice in these two examples how she just basically uses the two terms as the same: “a strategic approach to coaching and to therapy” – “used by therapists and coaches” – “the coach/therapist.” Basically the same. She even switches up which one goes first, for example giving primacy to the coach in the “coach/therapist” term she uses.
I completely agree with Cloe Madanes. When working with children and families – family therapist – family coach. It’s a collaborative approach to solution. Knowledge is knowledge.
This book by Cloe Madanes is one of my Christmas presents from me-to-myself from “my wife” (thanks honey, just what I wanted)… and now it’s becoming my Christmas present to Dorcy… but don’t tell her, I want it to be a surprise.
You know what… I’d like to make it my Christmas holiday present to all of you as well? I can’t actually buy you the book, but if you go to Amazon and buy it for yourself, like I did for me from “my wife,” then you could say it’s from Dr. C, so it’d be kind of like my present to you.
Madanes: Changing Relationships: Strategies for Therapists and Coaches.
I think you’ll find it amazingly fascinating what actual family therapy is. Wow. So – so different from what you guys have. I don’t even recognize the type of therapy your families are receiving – it’s nothing actually. Forensic psychology is just sort of flailing about, making stuff up and making a big mess of everything.
So you’d probably find a book describing real family therapy fascinating – this is what family therapy is – and I can’t think of a better book than one from a premiere family systems therapist, Cloe Madanes, written in 2018, it’s only 134 pages, and it’s simply busting at the brim with strategies for family therapy… and family coaching… she said so, right in the title of her book, for therapists and coaches.
Family therapy and family coaching… chocolate chip cookies and milk. Once we bring clinical psychology back to court-involved practice, we can start fixing things.
The world is changing.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857