Stuck In The Middle With You –
The energy of the past few days has been strange
with realities , that create a need for , a demand for
solitude ..One that I am beginning to consider my
life time commitment to.😎
I certainly understand people being people , and
into their own stuff .. I have enjoyed some nature
time with a few friends , who rarely initiate , and
I have chosen to not participate , any longer .
With a 40 plus cycle ending , that included many
jokers , clowns and masked people who may as
well be aliens for the advantage and abuses
against me , our children and grandchildren .
Today , I feel on my own , certainly guided by Divine
and note it’s always been so, and I accept it shall ever be.
I have known higher love, and have allowed higher love
to heal me .. Almost since my heart accepted Jesus , and
I sang , this little light , a force began to test that my light .
Today , I know it , I own it , without force , but great joy
and acceptance , that in removing all from me , Spirit
still remained and guided my recovery . I learned through
much heartache and heart break, lessons so freakish , so
out there , so inhumane …while hardly anyone else noted
or mumbled dismissal of blatant abuses , that seemed destined
to continue with each breath of the one whose focus is my
physical death ..
That I , survived cruelties that were allowed as an example
of my worth, my value to 3 souls .. times 6 now to appease
an elder of funds thus power , and her child who brutally
abused and used me as leverage with each other , a surrogate
for male heirs , an appearance of normalcy to the outside
The shame and blame were omnipresent , as if a religion
projections of not being good enough that was perfection
by the time psychiatry gifted them , my induced Bipolar
which signaled a get out of marriage , family , as free
as possible ..
Bodies do talk and mine screamed , internally , for not
one word , was heard , nor mattered once I became
a legalized Big Pharma addict .. Malleable that an end
should be as former wished , indeed taking 5 years to
enact an exit .
Little of it was lost on me, only the Devil and his Details
a new beginning for happiness , and no concerns or
worry or love lost as he promised friendship , that never
actually was a reality .
That reality and happy faded very quickly but an investment
had been made , and barely a shadow of her former self , she
left …Kudos .. However , I never blamed her totally , as she too
was casually used to produce abuses , which included my
not being allowed in any space she might be , especially
where our sons were concerned . Her image was of wife
and mother of our sons , whom she screamed at me found
me fat, lazy, crazy and wanted nothing to do with me .
Trauma that existed , was enhanced living a life of detachment
that was and always be self absorbed , lacking consciousness
or love .. Embarking yet again , for a cup that is never full .
The Monkey and his circus are endangered .. our sons as are
many are awakening to the facts , which indeed can be pain-filled.
We are made for these times ..
I released the eternal partiers , the non reciprocal friends , the hug-less
the bound , restricted take no prisoner projectionist , who have
nada to offer me , as I did the earth family , that remained after
the vulgar display of family values …as I long ago rejected
that I was unfit , but lacking in blind support of an immorality
in a marriage that has been spun in shadow so dank , and dark
an exhumation is demanded , a requirement for stepping out
of the nightmare of abuses , with desire to continue until my
last breath .
Tonight I sit alone , I will sleep alone , but I feel no lack only
comfort that I am not stuck in the middle of anything .
My place is not in the middle .
I am ever grateful to the Karmic ladies , those whose
goal, game effort are to possess the man I favor
for they take on the whole of that dark matter
and rarely last .. Former was done way before she
became ill, but held on. His causal , fun , rover life
style didn’t change , he had a home that deceived
irregular , non normal people and activities.
His secret clubs , still secret .. A double life , always
With dire results , an ending is justified ; closure
and all the masked , all the deceits , all the abuses
are Karmic boomerangs…
I am lucky to have noted long ago , when I went
against Divine , Karmic lessons followed often
so heart and head co joined , I am patient
as thy will be done , surrendered to all that
is , all that will be . Love , and Heaven on Earth
are here .. Seeing that in another , his witness
of mine … Meeting delicious new soul connections
as residence reveals change is not an option
for others …🙏🏼
Our train, our bags , our faith is not in
others but of our selves .
Non Delusional Pisces ♓️